TT16 elections & charities ballot

A number of elections are being held today – please find the nominations for each position below.

**Please note that members can only run for one elected position on any one election day**

To vote, follow the instructions in the email from the Returning Officer (Harry Gibbs). The election will run from 09:00 to 21:00hrs today, Friday 10th June 2016. Results will be announced in the bar and via social media shortly after 9pm.

 JCR Men’s Welfare rep

  • Ben Woodyear
  • Will Long

JCR Equal Opportunities rep

  • Louis Prosser

JCR Entertainments rep

  • Henry Petch
  • Lynn Temp

Freshers’ Week Committee positions

  • Jess Keating (backup link)
  • Luke Green (backup link)
  • Sioned Press
  • Nick Cooke
  • James Warrington
  • Francis Clark-Murray
  • Rosie Morgan
  • Oli Whitaker
  • Mustafa Majeed
  • Imi Dobie
  • Jenyth Evans
  • Caitlin Hinson
  • Lauren Jones
  • Susie Fuller
  • Ryan Biscocho
  • Josh Thomas
  • Charlie Davies
  • Ben Young

Charities ballot

Match report: JCR committee vs. college staff

On Friday 29th April the inaugural JCR committee vs. college staff football match took place, as part of the JCR’s Staff Appreciation Day. Find the official match reports below:

Staff report

It all started as an innocent challenge – JCR v Lodge.  Little did we realise that it would go down in the annuls of the College as a great bit of run. This report will obviously have a bias towards Staff and therefore we look forward to the riposte from the JCR Committee!

I did not realise just how many of the staff would be interested in playing a game of football so thought it wise to start with a five-a-side team.  The response was magnificent with over 15 staff members pledging their allegiance and so it began.

The initial date for the match was Thursday 5th May but once the JCR Committee got wind of our proposed training sessions they promptly brought the fixture date forward – a canny move or so they thought!

The Friday of the match coincided with PayDay Drinks.  Thankfully the copious amounts of alcohol consumed aided the lubrication of many unused joints – advantage Staff.

The match itself was a close run affair due to the tactical nous of the Staff.  After the score reached 0-3 our five-a-side formation of 0-2-2-3 restored the equilibrium.  At one stage the score was 5-5, however the JCR reasserted its stranglehold on the game (their formation also became suspect) and finished 10-8 winners – or did they?

As our pitch session was finishing, and the next session’s players were edging onto the pitch, one bright spark shouted “next goal the winner”.  Time for the masterplan to come to fruition and the staff duly scored the last goal.  Cue ecstatic celebrations and a dash to the King’s Arms for post-match drinks concluding a most enjoyable few hours that put a smile on the face of staff and students alike – the banter continues.

The JCR Committee want to play again so until the next time I will sign off with a few thanks.  Thanks to the Staff Team (with added nick names for authenticity):

  • Simon (the Cat) Smith some great saves
  • Mark (Stuntman) Hancock – roving goalie and horizontal full back
  • Becky (Bites your legs) Martin
  • Savannah (Sav) Zvipindu
  • Tania (Lofty) Dandy-Minto
  • Chris (Sniffer) Cox – scored one goal
  • Matt (Tucks) Tucker – scored two goals
  • Gabor (Puskas) Szilagyi – scored one goal and pulled off one outrageous Cruyff turn – 3 JCR defenders had to climb back onto the pitch after that move!
  • Ola (The Magician) Akimtola – scored five goals
  • Jamie (Wey Aye) Simms

And thanks to the supporters: Karen (Kassa) Tarrant, Michele (Deeps) Turner, Owen (Stato) McKnight, Mark (Camps) Campion, Sarah (Seggie) Howle, Joan (Mac) McCoy and Pietro (Chiellini) Prodili who selected himself for the final ten minutes of the game much to the amusement of John (Gaffer) Woods.

And finally thanks to David, Omar and the rest of the JCR Committee for sharing a different side of the College. We look forward to the next time.

 John Woods (The Gaffer)

Committee report

Firstly it is important to note that there is no bias in this report, whatever Staff might claim.

After much rearranging of the fixture, due mainly to efforts on behalf of the Committee to scrape together a team, we finally nailed down the evening. It was meant to be the culmination of a wonderful Staff Appreciation Day, where the plethora of lovely people who work at Jesus had been plied repeatedly with cake. After this joyous treatment, you’d have thought they’d be friendly and fair engaging in a nice bit of footieball.

You’d. Be. Wrong.

Walking over to the pitches on Mansfield Road, we were expecting a handful of staff ready to enjoy some light-hearted exercise. When we arrived we were stunned by what we saw. More staff than Portsmouth FC have honest fans, all eager to try and steal the hallowed pride of our legendary Committee. I must be honest, we were a little intimidated. Especially as the staff appeared to have upwards of a dozen players, whilst we were limited to 6. 6 brave souls who thought we’d enter into the theatre of flames, in an attempt to try and retain some dignity for the undergrads of Jesus College. But we left with much more than that. Against all odds, we left with a glorious, undebatable victory, and slightly less teeth than when we’d started.

The game started well for the JCR, with them claiming an early lead thanks to a wonderful turn and shot from the startlingly handsome ACC Rep. And two more goals I don’t remember. 3-0 to Committee. However at this point, the tricks started from John ‘Mourinho’ Woods. As some of you dear readers may know, Ola has recently become Junior Dean in Catherine’s absence. However what some of you may not know is that this occurred soon before the staff needed a team for a certain football fixture. And Ola is reputably a former Uni level baller. To paraphrase our honourable leader President Cakebread, “Now we’re fudged”.

As soon as Ola came on things changed. The JCR was no longer on the front foot, but instead pegged back against a ruthless Staff attacking formation. With the trickery of one Gabor Szilagyi (including a wonderful nutmeg that left Omar Mohsen picking himself up off the turf), and the calm passing brilliance from John Woods that once earnt him a trial at Chelsea (genuine truth), the JCR were on the ropes.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. The goals started to flood in against us. Only an absolute thunderbolt from the right boot of Llewelyn ‘where the heck were you during the 2nds Cuppers campaign’ Hopwood, and some more goals I don’t remember could keep the JCR in touch. The Committee were especially hampered by their star striker’s suffering at the hands of the aptly named Becky ‘bite your legs’ Martin. There are still bruises to prove it.

At this point the JCR looked down and out. But a glorious rallying cry from the lips of Rosie Morgan, and the sound of our two fans falling over laughing at Cakebread’s ‘skill’ spurred us back into it. All of a sudden we were in the lead. I forget the details and probably need to get back to work rather than making up some more goals. The crucial thing is WE HAD WON! In spite of only having 6 players. In spite of some liberal interpretation of the phrase ‘5-a-side’. In spite of that God awful Manchester City shirt Charlie Davies insisted on wearing. We had done it.

At this point both the Committee and the Staff retired to the pub to lick their wounds and begin preparations for the next epic duel. Hopefully we can have more JCR fans that time, as whilst ours did their best, they were rather outgunned by the seeming thousands of staff who had turned up for the event.

A final note, David Cakebread informs me he scored 4 goals in this game, including one ‘worldie’ which apparently Saloni failed to see. Let’s just say that’s not how I remember it.

Thanks to all the Staff, JCR Committee and most importantly wonderful fans who turned out to see us play, we too look forward to next time.

Love, an unbiased member of Committee.

Principal’s 60th surprise

On Sunday 24th April, members of the JCR, MCR and college staff gathered for a surprise celebration of Sir Nigel Shadbolt’s 60th Birthday. The JCR presented him with a personalised JCFC shirt, followed by a champagne reception and formal hall with a surprise rendition of ‘Happy Birthday To You’ from the choir.


JCR Sports Day

WE ARE HAVING SPORTZ DAY! This will be on Saturday about 1:00pm on second quad. There will be croquet, there will be egg and spoon, there will be three legged races, there will be prizes, there will be welfare tea. It will be HUGE. Come down and try to cure your hangover after the ball, because let’s be honest, you won’t be doing any productive work! The sheep will even make an appearance. 

Sports results – 1st week Trinity

Rugby lost in the semi final of the Cuppers bowl 

Cricket XI lost by 4 runs to New College

Women’s squash have their semi final next week

JCR committee football won 10-8 against the staff! Highlights included Chris from the Lodge scoring, Hugo clattering Becky from the Development Office, and John from the Lodge showing us why he had that trial at Chelsea as a boy…

New JCR website

Welcome to the newly-launched JCR website. It is still in the process of being upgraded, so don’t be surprised if there are broken links or design inconsistencies. Do pass on your feedback –


Social sec election & charities nominations

As you probably know, there is an election tomorrow for the JCR’s new social secretary! We’ve had a grand total of 1 application – check out Bella’s manifesto.

As usual, there will also be a charities ballot. The nominated charities are as follows:

Against Malaria Foundation

Give Directly

Newman Holiday Trust

World Wide Tribe

Oxfam Syria

Helen & Douglas House

Motor Neurone Disease Association

You’ll receive an email later this evening (10th March) with your unique voter code and a link to the online voting portal. Voting runs from 9am-9pm tomorrow (11th March), with results announced in the bar.

JCR Committee Election Results

Congratulations to your new JCR Committee!!

Treasurer – Omar Mohsen
Women’s Welfare Officer – Saloni Patel
Men’s Welfare Officer – Llewelyn Hopwood
Secretary – Hugo Markland
Access Representative – Jess Keating
Academic Affairs Representative – Hannah Burrows
Charities Representative – Rosie Morgan
Arts Representative – John Goodacre
Sports Representative – Elysia Hannaford
OUSU Representative – Charlie Davies
Equal Opportunities Representative – Alice Harrett
Environment and Ethics Representative – Luke Green
Social Secretary – Emilia Demetriades
Entertainments Representative – Hamish Paget-Brown
Domestic Representative – Matt Roche
IT Officer – Harry Gibbs

Charities Ballot:
Turl Street Homeless Action
Cancer Research UK
Medicins sons Frontieres

A detailed breakdown of the results can be found here

JCR Committee Elections

Here are the manifestos of those running for next year’s JCR Committee:
Don’t forget to vote tomorrow!

Vice President/Treasurer:
Omar Mohsen

Hugo Markland
James Chapman

Women’s Welfare Officer:
Sophia Lovett
Mary Ormerod
Saloni Patel

Men’s Welfare Officer:
Tim Lee
Llewelyn Hopwood

Matt Roche

Kathy Page
Elysia Hannaford
Beth Murray
Faisal Ebrahim

Harry Gibbs
Rob Fordham

Rosie Morgan
Lily Russell-Jones

John Goodacre

Jess Keating

Emilia Demetriades

Charlie Davies

Academic Affairs:
Hannah Burrows

Luke Green
Sophie-Ann Rebbettes

Equal Opps:
Alice Harrett

Entz Rep:
Hamish Paget-Brown
Henry Petch

Charities Ballot:
Turl Street Homeless Action – Jon Clingman
Action for Trans Health – Jessy Parker Humphreys
Medicins sons Frontieres – Faisal Ebrahim
Motor Neurone Disease Association – Hannah Burrows
Amnesty International – Alex Walker
The Newman Holiday Trust – Isabella Cullen
Pancreatic cancer UK – Catrin Prior