Archive round-ups

Sport Round-up 8th week HT15

JCFC finally said their goodbyes to the finalists this week with a stellar performance in the sunshine and hail against Worcester. The potency of the three-pronged attack of Gebbie, Khanijau and Wilson led many to wonder why it had taken JCFC management to find a system that got the best out of all three players. In the 23rd minute of additional time the 3 combined to tee up stand-in keeper Manson for a heroic volley which he politely scuffed wide – it wouldn’t have been fair for him to steal the limelight.

Jesus Football also played in their first international fixture this week against The Polish Society. The game was not without controversy as Omar Mohsen started for Poland despite controversy about his eligibility. Eventually this was cleared up as Filip confirmed that he had in fact taken part in a Vodka Party. Led by Marcin Bielinski, the Poles put in a strong performance in their first ever fixture and like New York City looked to be on their way to a victory. It was however decided that the winner of the game should be decided by a penalty shoot-out. Seconds’ stalwart McCallion stepped up in goal, producing a fine save early on. Predictably, however, it was heartbreak in the end as Andy ‘Southgate’ Wilson skied the 5th leaving ‘world-class’ Kempski to put Jesus out of their misery.

JCHC had a must-win fixture against Merton-Mansfield. A suspiciously quiet twitter feed perhaps says all you need to know. In a game Cam tells me we deserved to win, it appears Jesus lacked the killer instinct needed to flourish at this level. There are no prizes for trying.

Squash and Badminton have now dispersed for their spring break. Although temperatures are set to rise next term, Owain stands firmly behind his decision to add a mid-layer to the range of rackets stash.

JCBC got off to a flying start in Torpids with all 5 crews bumping up on day 1. M1 showed why we should have goal-line technology with a clear bump on Univ missed by the umpires and only given retrospectively after one pixel of our boat came suspiciously close to one of the pixels of theirs. You could also clearly hear the noise of a bump but, like the lunar landing, we’ll probably still be talking about it for years to come. M1 and M2 repeated the feat of the famous crews of ’97 by both winning blades. If not now, when? If not you, who?



Sport Round-up 7th week HT15


Last week I noted Leo Gebbie’s last home game for JCHC with a mixture of nostalgia and regret. Then, on Tuesday of 7th, a call-up from Tom Roberts meant JCFC fans would get to see Leo at Barts one last time:

There was a mixed reaction. Would he be the same player as he was 4 days earlier? Were his legs still up to the job? He answered all his doubters within a couple of minutes of coming on in the second half, seizing the opportunity to place the ball confidently wide of the post from 6 yards. Like Thierry Henry’s return to Arsenal at Leeds, it was one of those sporting moments you just have to cherish. A strong performance against a team dubbed ‘absolutely useless’ by Sam Skillcorn including at least 5 debut call-ups from the seconds led to a 4-1 win.

Not satisfied with just one game, Tom arranged to play Pembroke just 2 days later. Early on it was clear the team were suffering from a European hangover as ‘that big guy’ scored from a break. Parking the bus as we waited for Will Long to find his way to the pitch we managed to hold it to 2-0 (with Robin marking his last game with a show stopping challenge to give away with a penalty). The game descended into chaos second half with Pembroke representing all that is bad about premier league football and us representing all that is good about the Sunday League. Filip’s well-coordinated kick out during a barrel role led to a yellow card for their player after we surrounded the referee in outrage. We began to fight back but too little too late – the game finished 3-1.

Nick notes again that the pool team either won or lost against someone this week.

JCHC’s game this week was one of the most anticipated fixtures of the season with last year’s match leading to a #pepeonmeth twitter trend. A mix-up between Cam and Magdalen’s captain ate into Anna East’s 60-second cameo. It wasn’t long before Manson got himself involved in some controversy with a Magdalen player’s apology for a mistimed challenge being firmly rejected: ‘I don’t care if it was an accident, I’m going to foul you’. Like an enraged Cantona, Manson began to take control of the game by himself – even if it was at the expense of passing. Racing to a hat trick and his 30th goal for JCHC with Toby Swift only managing a meager 2, it was clear that Hugo was after just one thing – the success of the team. A mistake from Mooney, who looked out of sorts all game, cost Downes his clean sheet. Questions are now being asked as to whether Will will ever be able to make the step up from Varsity to JCHC.

With just one week until Torpids, JCBC have upped the number of outings in search of bumps glory. Things look particularly promising for W2 who were able to miraculously cure the injury that left Adam Robinson unable to row for M2 in order to sub in for W2. A borrowed cox from Univ then went for an early-morning swim before being asked to pull over as he was kicked out and replaced with a megaphone-wielding coach. Meanwhile M1 responded to a call of ‘if I gave you a million pounds for every stroke you could row balanced, how hard would you try to balance the boat?’ by leaving the boat firmly unbalanced. That’s right kids: Money isn’t everything.




Sport Round-up 6th week HT15


The Sports round-up is back! This week’s bumper-edition features highlights stretching back as far as 1st week.

Cam Lester’s hockey team has stormed into division 2 following their promotion last season. Am I right? Without compromising on their exciting brand of hockey, they have picked up 7 points from 4 in their new division with Manson finally reaching a landmark 25 goals for JCHC. Sadly for the JCHC stalwart, the limelight has arguably been on the mercurial talent that is Toby ‘scores when he wants’ Swift with 6 goals in 2 highlighting his potential. A successful loan spell at Queens when they only brought 9 men led to Chapman gaining some much-needed match experience – like a young David Beckham at Preston North End, there is no telling how far he could go in the game. The new Nike Victory II ‘chevron’ jerseys appear to have brought solidity to a historically porous back-line – with legend Downes recording the first clean-sheet in living memory, although there was a blip when Tom De Sousa taped on the pads last time out.

The women’s hockey team haven’t actually played this term but both Kathy Page and Anna East have put in plucky performances in the men’s side as the team looks ahead to mixed cuppers.

A couple of hard-fought matches with Keble and New for the Rugby team this term have ultimately led to disappointment – though not without drama. Tim Bell was sent off for a very high tackle while LLew head-butted his own teammate. Hugo Markland has attended almost all of the training sessions that he has organized for his team as Jesus look to close the gap on the teams around them now that under-21s are returning to college squads.

The 1sts Football team have adapted to life in division 2 following last year’s promotion and now look likely to earn a solid mid-table finish. A brilliant game last week against top-of-the-league Pembroke was sadly affected by some ‘Phil Dowd’ refereeing decisions. In dominating large periods of the game, however, Tom Roberts’ side showed what this team is capable of. Having flirted with promotion earlier in the season, the team’s finalists are looking to go out on a high with their last 2 games against top and bottom of the league this week.

James Chapman’s 2nds Football team won promotion to the 2nd tier! Jesus went into their match against Hilda’s knowing that it was a promotion decider, although such is the hype surrounding this team that every game this season has received that label. There were doubts this game would even happen with the pitch resembling a Total Wipeout challenge at kick-off. Having gone 2-0 down in the 1st half, Groundsman Dave allowed us to play on into the 2nd half (despite the tempestuous storms) given the special circumstances. A comeback to rival Istanbul ’05 led to a 3-2 win in Leo Gebbie’s last game on home soil.

The Women’s Football team have played some matches, lost some matches, won some matches by forfeit and also battled to a draw. Parker-Humphries notes with fondness a time when she put in a cross for a goal in a textbook example of wingplay. With a growing squad, they are ones to watch next season.

Fresher Nick Cochrane thinks the pool team has won some matches but couldn’t tell me which ones.

Rosie’s Netball team benefited this week from employing Hugo Markland at centre – though he was almost sent home when he forgot his skort. Netball was also the only all-stars match to actually take place this term – a close game finishing with an all-star victory.

A big term for Owain and Verity’s Racketsports teams as they stormed to a 5-1 victory over traditional badminton powerhouse Wadham. Returning captain David Hirst won his first ever match while Russel ‘Mayweather Jr.’ Cook is unbeaten in college squash.

JCBC fought to the end in IWL but ultimately missed to an impressive Pembroke. With Manson and Stevner both returning to M1, this week will be vital to find the inches M1 needs as they go in search of blades in Torpids next week. The women are also aiming for a strong showing as they bid farewell to long-term coach James Marsden.


Sport Round-up 8th week MT14

Yet again, we start with an apology. This time for a huge omission from last week’s sports roundup. The heroic women of Jesus College showed their dominance on the rugby field with victory in touch rugby Cuppers a couple of weeks ago. Maguire, Williams, King and Phillips paired with two girls from Teddy Hall and from then, victory was on the cards. With four blues among the team of 6, nothing could stop the Tesus (is that what we’re going for?) girls. The final was a tense affair against the only team Tesus had lost to in the group stage. The two evenly matched teams traded blows until the game went to the dreaded “golden try”, the equivalent of the schoolyard tradition “next goal wins”. Tesus managed to grab the all important try and send the crowd into raptures (or I’m sure they would have, if there was a crowd). More Cuppers glory for the Jesus girls, great stuff!

The boys’ rugby team also managed to finish their term in style with a comfortable 34-5 victory over Worcester, despite Jesus finishing the game with 14 men. That gave the Jesus boys their third win in as many games this season, sending them comfortably clear of relegation and securing division 1 rugby for next year. The boys will hope to carry on this good form to next term where an assault on the league title could be a possibility, and Cuppers awaits. The game was somewhat marred by a Worcester player having to be taken away in an ambulance after a blow to the head, so we wish him all the best.

Football had a topsy turvy week. The boys had three games, starting with the firsts taking on Magdalen on Tuesday. The result really could have gone either way as neither side could stamp their authority on the game, but it ended in a 4-2 defeat for Jesus. They were hoping for better against Trinity two days later in a must-win game. Turning up to discover that Trinity’s two blues players weren’t playing, hopes were high. Jesus started the game with great intensity, playing the ball around nicely and not giving Trinity a sniff. A lobbed effort from Mohamed was enough to secure victory for Jesus, although it could and perhaps should have been more. 1-0 still sends Jesus 3rd in the league at the half way stage, with an outside chance of promotion next term if Jesus can do the double over the team with 9 uni players, table-topping, Cuppers semi-finalists, unbeaten Pembroke (easy as that, right?).

The seconds football team had their Cuppers encounter on Wednesday. Univ 2nds proved to be tougher opposition than many had expected and Jesus were left looking very complacent in the first half, going into the break 4-0 down. A rousing team talk provoked Jesus to come out firing in the second half, scoring two quickfire goals and eventually bringing the game back to 5-3. A heroic save from a Skillcorn free kick by the Univ keeper denied Jesus a fourth, and from here Jesus seemed to switch off again, allowing Univ to score another four unanswered goals and leaving Chapman and his men wondering what might have been.

Netball wrapped up their term in the same way as it’s gone all the way through, with a comfortable victory. I didn’t bother to find out what the score was, but I’m sure it was a lot and that the girls were all very good. Congrats.

Easiest captaincy – Rosie Phillips, after the netball team’s comfortable dominance for the entire term

Most swearwords in one minute – Tom Roberts, for every single one of his football team talks this year

The “it’s not my problem anymore” Award – Aakash Khanijau, for his continuing “commitment” to the lacrosse team now he’s not captain

The “jack of all trades” Award – The Corpus groundsman, for stepping in when his team only had 8 men and were losing 6-0 to Jesus in football this year

The “if only I had that awareness, I’d be in the firsts” Award – Alex Proudfoot

The Organisation Award – Hugo Markland, for his reliable presence in the JCR on a Tuesday lunchtime looking for rugby players

The “you should see the other girl” Award – Anna Maguire, Rebecca Cavanagh and Kim Williams, for their consistently horrible bruises every Wednesday after playing rugby



Sport Round-up 6th and 7th week MT14


Sorry for the lack of sports roundup last week.

The boys’ football teams have only played two games between them in the last two weeks. The firsts game was a bit of a non-event given that Corpus turned up with 9 players, two of whom had to leave for a tute at half time. The Corpus groundsman made an appearance in the second half and helped keep the result down to 7-1 to Jesus. The seconds had a dramatic Cuppers encounter with Balliol, a topsy-turvy affair with neither team really being able to assert their dominance in what was a high quality affair. Swift bagged himself a hat-trick on the way to a 4-3 Jesus victory, but the end of the game could have been very different. A penalty awarded to Jesus before a disallowed Balliol goal for offside left the men in red feeling aggrieved, but Jesus marched on to the next round – an 8th week encounter with Univ.

The girls also had a Cuppers game, a quarter final no less, against a team with a 100% league and cup record this year. Unfortunately, the Jesus Cuppers dream, like all good things, came to an end with a 9-1 defeat, although the girls should reflect on their great success to get to this stage. It has also been said that the Jesus girls’ aggression managed to intimidate their opposition, although with a couple of rugby blues in the Jesus team is that really any surprise?

Moving on from football, the hockey season was also wrapped up in the last couple of weeks. The girls finished their season earlier in term, so they were able to rest and prepare for their assault on Cuppers next term. Attempts to secure a mixed friendly were initially looking good, until Exeter, true to form, pulled out leaving Jesus safe in their longstanding knowledge that Exeter are in fact really scared of us. That left the boys (and East) to their final promotion/title/relegation showdown with Trinity. Due to the unique way college hockey is organized, all three of these outcomes were possible, and Jesus knew their big players had to perform. Not being one to disappoint, “Hugoals” Manson reclaimed his name with two goals. Some pundits have dubbed the East-Mooney central midfield partnership as “one that will go down in history” and it certainly did contribute to the 2-0 Jesus victory. Lester can only hope his team can live up to the enhanced expectations next time around.

The rugby team have been quietly going about their business (or as quietly as is possible for a team led by Markland) with victories against Teddy Hall and Exeter helping to secure the Jesus College Team of the Year title for the boys to cap off a great year. The Teddy Hall game finished 44-29 to Jesus, but 16 points worth of bad things done by the opposition meant the result will go down as 60-29. Exeter were seen off in equally comfortable fashion, 44-17 (or something like that, says the Twitter) the result. A final encounter next week with New or Worcester (I think) will hopefully end the season with victory for the Jesus boys.

Lacrosse managed to get a big turn out this week as well for the final game of the season, with early rumours suggesting that even Khanijau might turn out, although it is as yet unconfirmed whether this did happen.

Jesus obviously won again in netball, and it’s getting to a point where it’s almost cliché. 24-10 may have been the final score this week against New College. I’m not much of a netball expert, but I think the Blues scouts should be sniffing around the Jesus players in weeks to come.

A big week in 8th week sees boys’ football and rugby wrap up their terms with potentially season-defining games, the headliner of which is definitely the seconds footballers foray into the later stages of Cuppers on Wednesday. Look out for the awards next week as well!



Sport Round-up 5th week MT14


Unfortunately for the girls this week, none of football, hockey or netball were able to continue their dominance. Not due to lack of ability or talent however, rather due to a scarcity of willing opposition. The hockey season is over, so Cuppers awaits next term to see if Jesus can get back to the top of the hockey world. As for football, no game was planned this week so Parker-Humphreys’ side could rest and relive last week’s Cuppers glory. Netball also lacked opposition, but I’m assured there will be a game next week.

While we’re on the topic of teams without a game, the boys’ football 1sts had their game mysteriously removed from the OUAFC website, although an upcoming game against Corpus/Linacre could send Jesus 2nd in the table.

The rugby boys knew they would be in for a tough game against high-flying New, but managed to more than hold their own in the end. New ran the length of the pitch in the dying minutes to secure a 14-10 victory, but Jesus had already secured survival in the top division and the next “season” starts again immediately next week. Rugby also had a game against a visiting Durham college this week and, against all expectations (especially since Markland had 11 players and no pitch about an hour before kick off) pulled off a 19-17 victory.

Hockey did have a game, facing the old Cuppers adversaries SPC/Hertford (why they’re allowed a joint team, I don’t know) who turned up with 18 players for this league fixture. Not to be intimidated, Jesus raced into a 1-0 lead courtesy of Swift, on his debut this year. A headed goal-line clearance from Fordham (yep, he headed that hockey ball) and some inspired goalkeeping from Downes kept Jesus well in the game, and they took a 2-1 lead into the last 15 minutes. Unfortunately, like many great teams, it just wasn’t our day, it was a game of two halves, and we ended up sick as parrots. Two quickfire goals meant a 3-2 defeat, but a win next week can still secure promotion to the lofty heights of Div 2.

The ultimate “game of two halves” came on Tuesday with the seconds football team facing the college we all love to hate (if you don’t know who that is, you really need to reassess your status as a Jesus student). Racing into a 2-0 lead, all was looking extremely promising for Jesus at half time. Chapman’s team talk had a distinct air of confidence and optimism, but the second half was a more torrid affair. Exeter managed to claw themselves back onto level terms and it was 2-2 with 5 minutes to go. It was truly end-to-end stuff, but then some pinball in the Jesus box saw the Exeter man smash the ball home for a 3-2 victory. Gutting for the Jesus boys, but promotion is still on the cards, and the Cuppers dream is still alive with a game against Balliol next week.



Sport Round-up 4th week MT14


It has to be said that the girls really did steal all the headlines this week. In the interest of balance, let’s deal with the boys first.

Rugby had an incredibly unlucky time, losing by just two points to Teddy Hall at home on Tuesday. A commendable result against a team that can field such a huge number of uni players, and the spirit showed by the Jesus boys will take them far. Two games next week – one against high-flyers New, and another against a visiting Durham college – bring the league season to an end.

The hockey team didn’t have much better fate either, going out of Cuppers at the first hurdle to LMH. It was always going to be difficult without Mooney and East, the former having taken a ball to the face in a uni game that morning, and the absence of Captain Lester didn’t help matters either. A 2-0 defeat means Jesus can concentrate on the promotion push in the league.

The seconds football team did fare better, beating a depleted St John’s 5-2. Goals from Cakebread (2), Gebbie, Manson (yes, he finally scored) and a disputed goal for Strachan maintained Jesus’ 100% record going into next week’s Turl Street derby against fellow table-toppers Exeter. Rarely has a college seconds match received so much hype, with those in the know saying the winners of this game will likely go on to take the title.

In mixed lacrosse, an increased turnout combined with a few Lincoln players meant the match against Queen’s could go ahead. It did result in a 4-3 loss, but pundits have been commenting that without the loss of ex-captain Khanijau on the morning of the game, the result could’ve been very different.

Now, back to the girls.

The netball team continued their roaring success this season, back to their convincing best with a 19-4 victory on Friday. I don’t know whether Jesus are really good or everyone else is pretty bad, but who cares?

Following last week’s dig at the boys, the pressure was on Parker-Humphreys and her side to walk the walk, and that they did. A moment she has since described as the pinnacle of her sporting career saw Wharton put Jesus 1-0 up and on the way to victory. Goals from the captain herself and a player known only to me as “Lexi” wrapped up a 3-0 victory and progression to the Cuppers quarter-finals. Incredible performances all round. Further credit has to go to the members of the team who dashed off immediately after the game to hockey and rowing – great effort!

In keeping with the girls’ Cuppers superiority, the hockey team also managed to secure their place in the next round with an 8-2 victory. Despite being struck down by food poisoning, East scored 4 goals to set the team on the way to victory. Only having 10 players, Captain Page was forced to play an unusual midfield role leaving her “too busy wheezing” to pay much attention to the game, but even that couldn’t stop her inspiring her side to arguably their greatest victory in living memory.

Again, huge well done to all the girls this week. The women of 1974 would be proud.



Sport Round-up 3rd week MT14


This week began with disappointment permeating the Jesus sporting elite. Having psyched themselves up for a huge clash with Merton/Mansfield, the men’s 2nds football team woke up to hear that the game was cancelled, the M&Ms captain having emailed Chapman just an hour before kick-off. As if this wasn’t bad enough, it was made worse by the knowledge that M&Ms had last week been beaten 12-0 by Exeter, so even Proudfoot was backing himself to score in this one. Still, 3 points for Jesus. On a similar note, the women’s team had their game against St Anne’s called off due to Anne’s not being able to muster enough players. As Parker-Humphreys was keen to point out in her email, this means the women have already done better in Cuppers than the men’s 1sts. Congrats girls.

On the topic of the men’s 1sts, Roberts’ men managed to secure their first win of the season against St John’s this week. After a fairly flat first half, Jesus sprung into life in the second and ran away with the game 5-1. Some selfless play from Swift allowed Skillcorn to complete a birthday hat-trick and put Jesus well on the way to victory. Captain Roberts also managed to grab his first (and surely not last) bullet header of the league campaign, with Swift getting the other goal. No game for a couple of weeks now for the Jesus boys.

Rugby also went will this week, with Markland’s men securing a 55-29 victory over St Catz to propel themselves back to the upper echelons of the table and all-but-secure first division safety, barring any ridiculous results in the coming weeks. With Teddy Hall and New left to play, it was important for Jesus to get a win in this one. Rumour has it Fielden might even have scored, but it was Livingstone who stole the show with 4 (ish) tries.

The netball girls faced Osler House on Saturday in their post-Halloween state and were given a bit of a fright (sorry!) before managing to pull through and win a close-fought encounter by a single goal/point/basket/shot/whatever they call them in netball. Whatever, they won, by one. The big chat surrounding the game is the fact that Moon White managed to get injured before even stepping onto the court, so well done for that.

Unfortunately, lacrosse had to be cancelled this week due to a lack of players. Lacrosse has a long and illustrious history at Jesus, with the team maintaining a 100% win ratio in competitive league fixtures last year, and it would be sad to see that die. Meet in the lodge at 9.45 on Saturday to get involved! Please.

Finally, to hockey. The women had a tough time this week, fielding a number of complete novices in their game against Worcester, and ultimately they came out second-best. Captain Page was naturally disappointed with the result, but commended the performance of her players. Meanwhile, Uni 2s player East is said to be riddled with guilt following her no-show. She did, however, make an appearance to help the men to a 2-1 victory over Brasenose, a match which included Manson’s first goal of the season. Not quite the 5 goals he managed in the 11-2 victory last year, but it’s the result that matters.

Rowing is still going on as well, much to the dismay of all those involved, but with Christ Church Regatta fast approaching and the men’s novices gearing up to defend the Nephthys title, it’s all to play for.



Sport Round-up 2nd week MT14


Firstly, I make no apologies for how much this week’s roundup is biased towards football, or how long it is.

Before we get to that, there’s been some whinging that cricket is never covered in the sports round up, so here goes. Some cricket was played last year, Jesus won some games and lost some games, didn’t end up getting promoted, and captain Steele scored some runs (that last part is the main reason he wanted a cricket bit).

Back to more current sport, the rugby boys had a game this week. Following the elation of last week, they were brought back down to earth with a bang against Keble. Leaking four tries in a 20-minute period of the first half, you’re never going to make the game easy against a college which supplies a disproportionate amount of the Blues squads. Jesus rallied in the second-half however, with Drane continuing his prolific try-scoring form by grabbing another two, to only lose the game 38-24. This result was made sweeter with the scoring of the bonus-point fourth try in the very last play. Early indications are suggesting that the boys may even be able to bring along some subs to the next game, so maybe this game was just a blip.

Hockey had a simultaneously pleasing and disappointing week. 5-0 victories for both teams make the disappointment seem unjustified, but since these victories are down to both sets of opposition being unable to field teams, captains Page and Lester were not happy. Page is again claiming all of the goals and, in her post-match analysis, awarded woman of the match to King for “cycling all the way there and back”. Rumour has it the women played a 5-a-side game instead, although I’ve been totally unable to find out the score in this one… The men’s team were going to have a training session instead, but they sacked it off in favour of welfare tea.

Lacrosse hasn’t had the best of starts this term, and a lack of players meant a joint team with Christ Church was necessary to face New College, with even ex-captain Khanijau absent from the side. Despite this, Jesus-Christ (has a certain ring to it, I think) managed a 2-1 win.

The first Jesus sports fixture of the year to fall victim to rain was netball this week. Captain Phillips wasn’t even going to play the game, so it didn’t affect her, but hopefully the same won’t happen next week.

Rowing deserves a mention this week too. The women’s four managed to finish as runners-up in the Autumn Fours even this weekend, making their way through the knockout competition of around 20 crews to ultimately lose to Hertford in the final by just half a length. As captain Huttner insisted, not bad at all for a scratch crew.

Finally, football. The women had their first game of the season this week and, in the absence of new captain Parker-Humphreys, Maguire was allowed to step in for one last hurrah as captain. She couldn’t quite bow out in style as she might have liked, with a 6-0 defeat against a reportedly difficult Wolfson/St Antony’s side, who were insistent on playing the full 40 minute halves despite their dominance and the struggling of the Jesus girls.

The boys had a topsy-turvy week. Starting off with a cancelled seconds game on Tuesday, the mood was high with JCFC seconds sitting top of the table. Thursday rolled round and the game against Queen’s came. After some scintillating play in the first half, Jesus went in to the break in the lead. The tide turned, however, and a combination of illness and injury meant Jesus ended the game with a completely different back four to those who started, and the final result was a 5-3 defeat. Following this, Saturday saw the first round of Cuppers against last year’s Premier Division whipping boys St Hugh’s. Riding on the support of the fans, Jesus stormed into a 1-0 half-time lead and optimism reigned. Some questionable (at best) decisions in the second half led to two disallowed goals for Jesus, and a speculative St Hugh’s effort saw them equalize to take the game to extra time. Feeling like dead men walking, both teams played out the 30 minutes to take it into the dreaded shootout. All square after four penalties each, Skillcorn was entrusted with the all-important fifth kick, went for the headlines and missed the top corner by millimetres (although, as I’ve been reminded plenty of times since, it doesn’t matter how close it is, it still missed). The St Hugh’s man stepped up and scored to secure progression into the next round for his team. The final score, 1-1 with St Hugh’s winning 4-3 on penalties. Disappointment and despair permeated the Jesus camp in the aftermath as many of the third-years realized that they would never play beyond the first round of Cuppers at Oxford. One thing which was unanimous at the end was that it was one of the best games we’ve ever played in, and that no one really deserved to lose. Hopefully the seconds can do better next week.

A quick mention should also go to everyone who competed in cross-country cuppers this week, especially the girls who won the team event! Applause to Hannah Plaschkes and Bethanie Murray for their individual 4th and 9th place finishes. Congrats!


Sport Round-up 1st week MT14


Another term, another 8 weeks of sport.

It was a cracking start to Jesus’ sporting calendar on Tuesday, with men’s rugby and 2nds football both in action. The rugby team, freed from the shackles of Fielden’s captaincy, were hoping to introduce themselves into college rugby’s top league in style. Spending most of the first half camped in the John’s/Anne’s half, Markland’s side managed to establish a lead at half time. They held on in the second half to win 29-12 and put themselves top of the league. That’s right, the best team in the uni. And that is how it remains, until New’s 33-10 victory is finally confirmed at least.

Not to be outdone, the men’s 2nds football team put on a stellar first-half display against a lacklustre (at best) Wadham 3rds, despite lacking key players Proudfoot and Khanijau. The opposition managed to put out only 10 players, and their keeper had a torrid time against the firepower of the likes of Lester and Gebbie (yes, that’s right, President Gebbie grabbed himself a goal) and Jesus went into the interval 5-1 up. Whispers that we might be ending up with a cricket score emerged as Wadham lost another player at half time, while Chapman was able to bring on fresh legs to ensure Jesus’ dominance. The second-half display was less impressive from Jesus, although it did see the industrious Cakebread finally put away one of his 50 chances to get off the mark for the season. 6-1 the result.

The women’s season doesn’t get underway until next week in the footballing world, although Parker-Humphreys will be hoping to ride on the tide of enthusiasm kicked up by Maguire last year and get off to a winning start.

The men’s firsts, on the other hand, had a less successful week. Facing relegated Trinity, who could boast a Blues centre-back in their starting line-up, the game was always going to be tough. The first-half was a high quality affair, with both teams creating chances to no avail. That was until Cooke broke down the wing and saw his shot parried by the keeper, into the path of the oncoming Skillcorn (who managed to get off the mark at the right end this season). Football managers would describe this goal, on the stroke of half time, as the perfect time to score. Going into the break 1-0 up, Jesus were feeling confident. This all changed a few minutes into the second half when the Blues captain/all time most capped/all time top scorer came on for Trinity. To make a long story short, he was really good, and Jesus lost 3-1. Not the best of starts, but the pundits are already pointing to the way Jesus started last year as evidence that one game doesn’t make a season.

Hockey also began this week. The women’s team had a bit of a false start. With new captain Page at the helm, hopes were high. The squad was assembled, only to be disappointed by the news that the opposition had cancelled the game. Birthday girl Page claimed all of the goals in the 5-0 win for herself, and made a decision almost unheard of in college hockey circles: she put on a training session for the girls. Surely this is cause for great optimism for next week.

The men’s/mixed team didn’t have quite such an easy day. Newly capped Uni 3rds keeper Faisal Ebrahim was unavailable, leaving Lester with no choice but to stick with Downes in goal. The Manson-Mooney partnership that served Jesus so well last year looked like it was going to be fruitful again, as Jesus stormed into a 1-0 lead early on, Mooney getting the goal. They were unable to capitalize, however, and Lincoln managed to grab an equalizer late on to leave the final score 1-1. “Hugoals” Manson was unable to fully live up to his billing as the new star of the Uni 3rds, and he reportedly berated the team afterwards claiming “everyone was rubbish, Mooney was pretty good” in his post-match rant. Interesting talk on Twitter over the Uni vs College debate (much like club vs country for you football fans) dominated the aftermath of the match.

1st week saw record turnout for the Jesus College Badminton Club, so much so that Jesubites had to go to the extremes of sharing courts with Exeter. It’s set to be a good year in badminton at this rate.

Finally, netball. New captain Phillips was so supremely confident in the abilities of her side that she didn’t even start the game herself, leaving it in the capable hands of the rest of her team. Following a horrific injury to Wharton, Phillips did come on and helped her side to an emphatic 18-4 victory. Fear not though, Wharton made a miraculous recovery to play a further part in the game and doctors have said the grazes on her hands shouldn’t leave any long-term damage.

2nd week will be a big week for Jesus, with more fixtures and some Cuppers campaigns starting, so hopefully last year’s success can continue.

Sport Round-up 2nd, 3rd and 4th week HT14

Sorry for the lengthy delay, but there really has not been a lot of sport going on this term at all. Most of our favourite sports have fallen victim to the weather, although seemingly none more so than rowing. The state of the Isis has led some people to question whether Christ Church Lake is a more appropriate name. Who knows what’s going to happen by Torpids?

Netball has continued its relative success. The one game the girls played ended in victory (maybe 18-10, or 18-12, or something – some scoreline where Jesus scored more than the other team). The courts have been a bit slippery later, and apparently this is quite dangerous, so in their infinite wisdom, Williams and the opposition captains have been postponing the games.

The really big news is hockey. After the amazing end to last term continued in 1st week, there hasn’t been quite so much success for Fordham’s mixed side since. A last-gasp 2-0 defeat to M&Ms (come on Merton-Mansfield, grow up) on a somewhat damp pitch saw some heroic performances, with Hubbert, in his determination to win the ball back for his team, showing commendable ignorance to every rule hockey has ever seen. The following day saw the big match. The cuppers quarter-final. The odds were against Jesus, missing arguably their two best players in Mooney and Stobbart against a solid SPC/Hertford. After going 2-0 down, things weren’t looking good for Jesus, but then that man Manson popped up 5 minutes from the end to score and give Jesus some hope of resurrection. Alas, it was not to be, though the final score of 2-1 could have been very different on another day.

The girls team have not had much hockey to speak of, with their cuppers charge being ended in a much crueller way. The official line is that captain Knill could not get a team together, although unconfirmed rumours circulating in college suggest it may in fact have been because she could not get herself out of bed.

Unusually, the girls football team have played more than the boys lately. A heart-wrenching 2-1 defeat to those pesky M&Ms does not tell the full story. By far the girls’ best performance of the season, with a fantastic strike from Wray putting Jesus ahead on the stroke of half-time, it just was not to be in the second-half, and a cruel deflection off Maguire sent the ball rocketing past Phillips in goal. Not a bad result against a team containing the Blues captain. One more game left for the girls to make amends. Masters’ seconds team had a successful result leading into the weather break. A 5-2 drubbing of Somerville was pleasing, but the game was so long ago, I can’t really remember what happened.

The men’s badminton team had their second match of the season against Keble. For once Hirst managed to get three people who actually wanted to play so that was a good start. Unfortunately the team’s enthusiasm wasn’t enough to win us the match as again we came up against strong opposition, which I guess is to be expected in division 1. Freshers, Owain and Theo played well together in the doubles, narrowly losing one match. Anil was forced to carry his partnership with David who was far from his best (blaming fatigue) and made a good début for the team. Then in the singles Owain regained some dignity for JCBaC with a very tight victory, so there were some positives to take away from it.



Sport Round-up 1st Week HT14


We’re back!

The first sport to start its Hilary Term was mixed hockey. Fordham’s men (and women) were back in training last Sunday with a turnout described by coach Stobbart as “better than the blues”. It clearly paid off. Against the tough opposition of Lincoln, undefeated the previous season without conceding a goal, it was going to be a tough ask. The absence of in-form striker Sam Skillcorn (quote from Rob Fordham, I didn’t write that bit!) added to the enormity of the task against the Oxford seconds goalkeeper. The “angriest man in college hockey”, Hugo Manson, managed to stay calm for long enough to produce an inspired performance, scoring 4 before he had to be subbed off. The trio of Banerjee, Hubbert and Khanijau must’ve struggled to sleep thinking about the abundance of missed chance, and their post-match report will definitely be “could do better”. Downes was also cruelly denied what would have been his first clean sheet in nearly 2 years after conceding a late goal as a result of some suspect defending. 5-1 the result.

The mixed badminton team also saw its first game, against St John’s. Although it unfortunately ended up in a Jesus loss, the match saw some promising performances against a good side. Rose and Harry deserve a special mention for stepping in at the last minute to play, although they also deserve criticism for leaving it to the last minute to volunteer!

Netball is still going surprisingly well. The girls won 12-2 this week with some special performances from Beth and Rosie scoring some frankly incredible goalshots to give Jesus victory. Maybe, with the girls continuing their good form, captain Williams might actually try and take an interest in the overall progress of her team.

Rugby achieved promotion without even playing a game this week. It has been unanimously decided in the sporting world that Exeter are scared to play Jesus. After forfeiting last term’s hockey match, they were unable to get enough players together, leaving Jesus with the win, promotion and, barring any ridiculous results this week, probably the division 2 title. Tuesday’s game against Worcester will decide that for sure. Who’d have thought that, even with the distinctly unmighty Fielden at the helm, the rugby boys could do so well?

The football first team also achieved promotion this week, although they actually had to play a game in order to do this. A 7-0 thrashing of 10-man Oriel meant Jesus are also all-but-guaranteed the league title, running away with it after 8 wins out of 9. The battle to be top scorer is hotting up, with Llyr thinking he had caught up, only to see current leader Cooke come back with a second-half hat-trick. Massive game this week for the boys where the title can be confirmed at Barts on Saturday. The seconds didn’t have quite so much of a good time of it this week, losing 3-0 away to Queen’s, although everyone agreed that it was good to get back out on the pitch and blow away those Christmas cobwebs.

The mixed hockey team having just beaten Lincoln 5-1.

Sport Round-up 8th Week MT13

It’s practically irrelevant what happened in any other sport this week, as football grabbed all of the headlines. Still, in the interests of formality, it should be said that the rugby team scraped an 89-0 victory against the mighty Merton-Mansfield who, with over 400 students available to their team, should really be able to beat a team captained by Matt Fielden. Since even he scored in this game, unconfirmed allegations of match fixing have been bandied around college in recent days. Apparently Hugo Markland played in this game too, and he wanted a mention.

Lacrosse and hockey both finished their terms in previous weeks, with both captains looking ahead to next season, Fordham in particular, with a Cuppers quarter-final against Peter’s/Hertford looking to bring in the crowds early next term. Could JCHC be returning to its glory days?

Now, to football. Still sitting at the top of the table, Skillcorn went into this week knowing that games against 2nd-place Corpus and 3rd-place Somerville in one week could make or break the Jesus season. The Corpus game was a high-quality affair, with great football from both sides and some solid performances all around. However, when both the captain and last season’s top scorer grab their first goals of the season in the same game, it’s always going to end well. In a fitting end to the game, seeing the referee describe Skillcorn as “a confident little bugger” for asking for injury time at 2-2, Jesus went down to the Corpus end and got a penalty. Up stepped the Welsh wonder Llyr to smash it into the top corner and secure a potentially vital 3-2 victory.

Only half of the week’s work was done though. The crowds flocked to the Friday of 8th week showdown between Jesus and Somerville, riding on the promise of snacks and drinks. After losing 3-2 in the return fixture on the opening day, Jesus had a point to prove. A nervy first half saw the scores tight at 0-0, but the game opened up in the second half after a wonderfully rehearsed free-kick routine made even the swinging boot of Turnbull look deft as he found the bottom corner. Somerville then had a man sent off as they lost their nerve and, in their rush to score, Jesus broke and scored to leave the final score 2-0. Such a result would not have been possible without the adoring fans ensuring the Fortress (Barts) lived up to its name. Jesus need one more win in the final four games to secure promotion.

Finally, some awards for the term.

The “woman in a man’s world” Award – Kathy Page, for her goalkeeping performance in Hockey Cuppers vs Keble

The Most Dedicated Captain Award – Kim Williams who, when asked how Jesus netball was going, said “we’re in divison 3, or it might be 5, whatever the bottom one is”

The Worst Dressed Award – JCBC Men’s IV at IWL (mainly Rob Fordham), for their socks and headbands combo

The “I was never really going to quit” Award – President President President Leo Gebbie

Mr/Miss Competitive – Anna Maguire

The “they bicker like a married couple” Award – Hugo Manson and Molly Johnson-Jones, for their outstanding working relationship as rowing captains this term

Team of the Year Award – All of them, you’re all marvellous

No really…

Team of the Year Award – Jesus College Cricket, for not losing a match all term

Most Valuable Player – Me

Thanks for reading. There’ll be more to come next term!

Thanks to Sam Skillcorn for increasingly detailed and increasingly scathing sports round-ups this term.


Sport Round-up 7th Week MT13


Without doubt, the highlight of the week was hockey. The mixed team, despite only having 9 players, smashed Brasenose 11-2 in the final game of the season, avoiding relegation and ending up with a level goal difference. To demonstrate the lacklustre nature of the Brasenose defence, even Manson managed to put 5 past them, though this may well have something to do with the fact that it was their keeper’s first ever game. The girls were also successful this week, needing only 8 players to win 2-0.

The rugby team continued their great run of form in division 2 this week, with a convincing 46-19 away win at St John’s/St Anne’s to go top of the table, having only just been promoted. Fielden will be delighted that his team are continuing to perform so well, and hoping it carries through to next term. The final game of this term takes place next week.

No league games were played in men’s football this week, though some would say that the All Stars fixture is bigger than any league game. For the first time in a number of years, the current team managed to beat the All Stars, though this was helped greatly by the latter only bringing 6 players. After some reshuffling of the teams, a game of 10-a-side saw a 7-5 victory for Jesus. With 2 huge games this week against 2nd and 3rd in the table the boys are hoping this momentum will help them hold onto top spot. The women achieved a hard fought 1-1 draw at Balliol with Mulholland’s goal leading people to question whether she actually hasn’t played before.

New to the sports report this week is news of the badminton team who unfortunately lost their match at Worcester, but some good performances against some uni players meant the team had nothing to be ashamed of.

There may have been a netball game this week but since the captain didn’t bother to let me know the result I can only assume they lost. No lacrosse games either as the league has officially been cancelled for this term, leaving Jesus with a 100% win ratio.

As everyone knows, it was Christ Church regatta this week, read all about it here.

Look here next week for the final sports round-up of term, with some special features.



Sport Round-up 6th Week MT13


One of the biggest successes this week was mixed hockey, where goals from Gravell (2), Flahive, Stobbart and Maassen saw Jesus beat first division Keble 5-2 to advance to the next round of Cuppers. Captain Fordham had been dreaming all week of a giant killing and our attacking flair meant that his dreams came true.

The seconds football team weren’t quite as fortunate in Cuppers, going down 4-0 to Turl Street rivals Exeter. This can be partly put down to the Captain arriving at half time due to Birmingham’s horrendous rail network. Fear not – the team are going strong in the league so promotion may be on the cards. There was no game for the firsts this week, leaving them sitting pretty at the top of the table. The girls’ game was also cancelled, giving Jesus their second win of the season in the second game that Captain Maguire didn’t play.

A lacrosse friendly on Saturday brought a narrow 12-5 defeat for Jesus but the game was somewhat unfair as many of the Queen’s players seemed to actually know the rules. It’s hoped that the league might get up and running again, but who really knows?

This week’s netball match was stopped early as one of the Jesus players took a ball to the nose, but this means two games next week. Rumour has it, she’s finally manned-up and stopped complaining about it.

The rugby team had their first taste of division 2 action this week, and some would say it’s even a bit too easy. With complete disregard for the song “Jesus can’t play rugby because he’s only got 12 mates”, the 13 men of Jesus convincingly beat Oriel 31-7 to get their season off to a great start. Tom “Susan” De Sousa stole the show with two tries, although the rest of the team insist he simply fell over the line.

If you haven’t heard about this week’s rowing success, where have you been? See here for the details.



Sport Round-up 5th Week MT13


Jesus sport really is going from strength to strength. Rugby truly stole the show this week with a very convincing 60something-5 win over St Peter’s to secure promotion to the dizzy heights of division 2. Jesus dominated the game throughout, with even Matt “rugby’s slowest half-back” Fielden managing to make a few surging runs through the Peter’s defence. The division 2 season starts immediately in 6th week, so look out for Jesus’ first game against Oriel on Tuesday.

Football’s first team, not willing to allow rugby to take all of the glory, took a convincing 9-1 win over Oriel to send them to the top of the league, and some are even daring to talk of a title for Jesus come the end of Hilary, but perhaps it is too early to say. The 2nds were equally successful; with a resounding 5-1 win over top-division LMH 2nds at Barts sending them into the next round of Cuppers for a grudge match with Exeter 2nds this Sunday. Rumour has it Masters is already losing sleep over the team selection for such a massive game. Jesus’ women were unable to continue their good form of last week, this time losing 5-0 to Teddy Hall (who, Maguire insists, are a division above Jesus, which makes this okay).

Netball unfortunately didn’t have a game this week due to the opposition seeing Williams’ potential starting line-up and suddenly (conveniently) “not being able to get a team together”.

Hockey hasn’t had quite so much success, with a 7-0 defeat to Balliol in the mixed variety this weekend. The league table is still looking bright, however, as Jesus are shown as having lost two out of two, but still having scored 9 and conceded 4. Bonus. Cuppers this weekend for Fordham’s men (and Kathy) may just be the turning point.

Lacrosse has been a bit of a disaster this term. After steamrollering through Wadham in the first of the season, Khanijau’s team have been denied further success by the weather and the Uni Parks groundsmen, so whether the season will continue is still unknown.

Finally, to rowing. The men competed in Autumn Fours, losing to Balliol in a hard-fought race, though since both crews share the same coach, there was talk of some bias and split allegiances. Meanwhile, the women’s biggest battle this week was making it to an 8.30am post-bop outing, which by all accounts was fairly entertaining, with unconfirmed talk suggesting at least three of the crew hadn’t managed to sleep enough to become hungover…

Keep looking here for the results of all of next week’s big sports matches.



Sport Round-up 4th Week MT13


A rain affected week meant that fixtures in netball and mixed lacrosse were cancelled, leaving huge disappointment among fans and players alike. Fear not though, these sports will return in coming weeks.

In brighter news (pardon the pun), the girls’ football team on Sunday managed to achieve their first win of the season, 4-1 against Wadham. Since this was also the first game Captain Maguire hasn’t played, questions must surely be raised over next week’s team selection, and whether she deserves her place.

The boys didn’t have such a good time on Friday, going out of cuppers 2-1 away to St Catz. However, against the premier division side, this is not a result to be ashamed of. Should we be questioning Captain Skillcorn’s leadership as well? Some would say no, since earlier in the week, the firsts’ beat an under-represented Christ Church 4-1. The seconds managed also to achieve their first win of the season, beating Worcester 3rds 1-0 on Tuesday, to Masters’ delight. With a big cuppers game coming up on Sunday, the win could not have come at a better time.

A very belated start to the mixed hockey season didn’t end up as the fairy-tale that Captain Fordham had hoped. Rumour has it he was heard crying himself to sleep after the 5-1 defeat to St Hugh’s. Below is a picture of the fallen heroes after the match. The girls’ hockey match this week was clearly an important one, as a number of the players couldn’t even remember the result after the game. So much dedication in that team.

Perhaps Jesus’ most impressive result this week was the rugby team’s 101-5 victory over whipping boys Magdalen with even Gebbie managing to get on the score sheet for the second time this term. The final game of the season takes place this Thursday against St Peter’s at Barts, so if you can get down to watch the 2.30pm kick-off, the boys would really appreciate your support. A win for Jesus would secure promotion into division 2, so it really is a massive game.



Sport Round-up 3rd Week MT13


3rd week was incredibly successful for Jesus’ sports teams, however it started off badly on Tuesday with Jesus football 2nds suffering a 7-3 defeat at the hands of Wadham 3rds. The first team had a more pleasant week with a comfortable 3-0 victory over Univ on Friday. The first team have cuppers this week, away at St Catz on Friday, so come down and support and look here for the results next week. The girls’ team were less fortunate in cuppers, losing 6-0 to a Blues-packed Keble on Sunday.

Jesus mixed lacrosse managed to avenge the footballers’ defeat to Wadham with a 4-0 victory in Khanijau’s first game as captain. A friendly against St Peter’s followed which was not quite as successful, but a 5-2 loss to a team fielding 4 Blues is not bad going. A photo of the winning team can be seen below. Hopefully the team will continue their good run this week.

The rugby team got back to winning ways with a 22-12 victory over Corpus Christi/Somerville, so if they can continue to put some good wins together, promotion could be on the cards.

Perhaps the most successful sport this week was netball, with 3 wins on Friday. Corpus forfeited the first match, Hertford were beaten 16-8 and the girls then beat Trinity 8-3. There is one match this week on Friday, so if anyone wants to play, get in touch with Kim.

Mixed hockey saw a quiet week this week with no games or training, but their season begins this Sunday. Women’s hockey unfortunately lost 3-1 to Brasenose.

Finally, Sunday was a good day for Jesus rowing with good results in the Isis Winter League, which can be found here.


Sport Round-up 2nd Week MT13


A relatively quiet week in college sport saw matches for only football and rugby. The rugby team lost narrowly to St John’s/St Anne’s. Despite being camped on the opposition try-line for much of the last 10 minutes, a break-away try meant heartbreak for Jesus.

It was better news in men’s football with the firsts scoring a convincing 8-0 win over Univ, putting last week’s defeat to Somerville behind us. A stellar performance from Andrew Lindsay saw him score 5 goals against some questionable defending. The seconds’ game against Exeter was cancelled due to weather, leaving captain Masters hoping that this wasn’t to be the start of another rain affected season. The first game in women’s football wasn’t quite as successful with an under-represented Jesus team going down 6-0 to St Catz but there were plenty of positives for the season ahead.

In mixed hockey, rivals Exeter left it until 20 hours before the match before realising that a win was never on the cards and cancelling. Some members of the Jesus team were glad to avoid an 8am start but there was a general feeling of animosity towards our Turl Street rivals.

An unfortunate lack of sticks prevented the inaugural lacrosse training session of the year, much to the disappointment of Captain Khanijau, although he still remains optimistic about this week’s game. There was no game in netball this week either, but 3 games in 3rd week gives the girls a good chance to put some wins together.

Squash and badminton training sessions are also going strong with good attendance and the captains filled with optimism for the coming year.

Good luck to all of Jesus’ sports teams competing this week, including the crews rowing in the Isis Winter League on Sunday.



Sport Round-up 1st Week MT13


College sport kicked off this week with games for football, rugby and netball. The rugby team scored a convincing 37-0 victory over St Hilda’s in Matt Fielden’s first game as captain.

In netball, the first two games saw one win and one loss for Jesus girls, but a great turn out is encouraging for the season.

The football second team ground out a 1-1 draw with St Hilda’s seconds after a contentious late penalty. The firsts didn’t have quite so much luck, going down 3-2 away to Somerville in a game full of dramatic moments. A missed penalty, two indirect free-kicks, two own-goals, and a sending off summed up a farcical game.

Both hockey and mixed lacrosse kick off their campaigns this weekend, with mixed hocked playing the all important derby against Exeter.

Look out for these results, and more from Jesus’ other sports, in the same place next week!