Welcome to Jesus JCR

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Welcome to Jesus JCR

The JCR, or Junior Common Room, is the community of undergraduate students at Jesus College, Oxford. We are a fun and friendly bunch, please explore the pages on this site to see what we get up to! The blog to to the right will keep you up to date with recent news. We hope that this site will be useful to both current students, and to those thinking of applying.

JCR Committee Elections

Here are the manifestos of those running for next year’s JCR Committee:
Don’t forget to vote tomorrow!

Vice President/Treasurer:
Omar Mohsen

Hugo Markland
James Chapman

Women’s Welfare Officer:
Sophia Lovett
Mary Ormerod
Saloni Patel

Men’s Welfare Officer:
Tim Lee
Llewelyn Hopwood

Matt Roche

Kathy Page
Elysia Hannaford
Beth Murray
Faisal Ebrahim

Harry Gibbs
Rob Fordham

Rosie Morgan
Lily Russell-Jones

John Goodacre

Jess Keating

Emilia Demetriades

Charlie Davies

Academic Affairs:
Hannah Burrows

Luke Green
Sophie-Ann Rebbettes

Equal Opps:
Alice Harrett

Entz Rep:
Hamish Paget-Brown
Henry Petch

Charities Ballot:
Turl Street Homeless Action – Jon Clingman
Action for Trans Health – Jessy Parker Humphreys
Medicins sons Frontieres – Faisal Ebrahim
Motor Neurone Disease Association – Hannah Burrows
Amnesty International – Alex Walker
The Newman Holiday Trust – Isabella Cullen
Pancreatic cancer UK – Catrin Prior

JCR President Elections

Here are the manifestos belonging to those running for JCR President:
Bella Renehan
David Cakebread

Remember the husts will be taking place in the bar at 9pm tonight!

“You don’t get from me good and funny headlines”

It was the opening game of what will prove to be a decisive JCFC 2nds season, under the mighty leadership of David “Please can we leave out any of my exploits from freshers week from the match report because apparently there may be some sort of JCR election in the near future” Cakebread.

Jesus entered the game with high hopes of beating a St. Hugh’s side whose only threatening player seemed to be their “man-bun” striker. The boys in green had already suffered a setback when it was decided that Matt “I hate playing in goal why do I have to keep playing there” Roche was picked to start in goal. However a strong fresher showing leading to debuts for Joe “Reckons he’s a better than average player for Liverpool” Small, Jonny “Only here because he thought it was a first game” Betteridge and Ed “I cannot remember your surname so I’m going to make it up” Harris. Alongside this new blood were JCFC veterans such as Rob “I love taking goal kicks” Fordham, Jon “Honestly I always have complete control over my rage” Hubbert and everyone’s favourite George “Please stop calling me ineffectual I’m not actually that bad at football” Parker.

The game started well for Jesus as a succession of long balls led to David “Please can we not just play long ball” Cakebread having several chances which he sadly failed to convert. However disaster struck when Hugh’s thought they’d have a go at this long ball lark, and Rob “He’s a 4th year why is he not playing for the MCR” Fordham misjudged the bounce, allowing the Human Manbun who was playing up front for Hugh’s to chip the poor stranded Matt “Seriously I’m only 5’8” on a good day why have I been put in goal” Roche in the Jesus net.

The lads in green responded well though, as a fantastic ball from Jon “This pass led to him comparing himself to Mesut Ozil” Hubbert allowed Jonny “By now fed up with the standard of the players he was forced to play with” Betteridge to cross for David “Some of the freshers thought his surname was a joke” Cakebread to power a header in.
The celebrations of JCFC’s first goal of the season did not last long however as Michał “Like I’m capable of spelling your last name” _________ was robbed of possession in midfield, and a seemingly tame Hugh’s shot was inexplicitly allowed to squirm under the somewhat useless dive of Matt “I told you I was no good in goal” Roche.
Jesus went into half time at 2-1 down, which left to a raft of changes being made. Alex “Oh my God he just nearly cut that guy in half with his tackle” McCallion, Theo “The silent destroyer” Jones and David “I’m not sure in which order I’m meant to put your names” Yedam Cho all entered the fray. Crucially there was also a change at goalkeeper as Connor “I played goalkeeper once in Year 7” Sewell replaced Matt “Oh good now I get to be linesman I’m so lucky yippee for me” Roche.

Connor “Wait a minute he’s actually quite good in goal why did he not start there” Sewell had a fantastic second half between the sticks, but was unable to stop Hugh’s slicing through the Jesus defence like a Unnamed-because-there’s-an-election-coming-up-Freshers-Shark, allowing a simple tap in for a Hugh’s player who I cannot be bother to come up with a name for.

Despite the best efforts of Hugo “He’s far too disciplined a CDM to be playing for this team” Manson and a classic leg breaking tackle from Alex “How did the ref not send him off for this was he blind or just stupid” McCallion, Jesus could not stop the Hugh’s onslaught, and they scored again after a clever free kick led to a stunning overhead kick that left many in the Jesus team wondering if this was truly St Hugh’s’ third team. Possibly before or after that goal I got confused a single Hugh’s player managed to jig his way through the entire Jesus midfield and curl an unstoppable shot into the corner of Connor “Only just taller than Matt” Sewell’s goal.
There were some brave attempts to stage a comeback from Jesus, most notably a wonderful dribble from Rob “Please make sure you mention my dribble in the match report it was the best thing I’ve ever done on a football field” Fordham, as well as some fantastic all round play from Michał “Should be playing in the 1sts but Cakebread is such a smooth talker he managed to get him to turn out for the 2nds, plus I’ve now managed to copy your surname from Facebook so here it comes” Dąbrówka, but unfortunately it was not to be.

Final Score: St Hugh’s 5- Jesus 1

Man of the Match: Cam “I haven’t mentioned him thus far and wanted to try and get everyone into the report, plus he played quite well despite getting substituted twice” Lester.

Freshers’ Week Presidential Elections

Below is the list of candidates for Freshers’ Week President for next Michaelmas. You can find more about each of them by clicking on their names.

  • Geo Merchant and Bella Renehan
  • Alex McCallion and Polly Lamming
  • Oliver Crump
  • You can cast your vote between 9am and 9pm on Thursday. To vote, follow the instructions the email you will be sent on Wednesday.

    Sports Round-Up 8th Week HT15

    JCFC finally said their goodbyes to the finalists this week with a stellar performance in the sunshine and hail against Worcester. The potency of the three-pronged attack of Gebbie, Khanijau and Wilson led many to wonder why it had taken JCFC management to find a system that got the best out of all three players. In the 23rd minute of additional time the 3 combined to tee up stand-in keeper Manson for a heroic volley which he politely scuffed wide – it wouldn’t have been fair for him to steal the limelight.

    Jesus Football also played in their first international fixture this week against The Polish Society. The game was not without controversy as Omar Mohsen started for Poland despite controversy about his eligibility. Eventually this was cleared up as Filip confirmed that he had in fact taken part in a Vodka Party. Led by Marcin Bielinski, the Poles put in a strong performance in their first ever fixture and like New York City looked to be on their way to a victory. It was however decided that the winner of the game should be decided by a penalty shoot-out. Seconds’ stalwart McCallion stepped up in goal, producing a fine save early on. Predictably, however, it was heartbreak in the end as Andy ‘Southgate’ Wilson skied the 5th leaving ‘world-class’ Kempski to put Jesus out of their misery.

    JCHC had a must-win fixture against Merton-Mansfield. A suspiciously quiet twitter feed perhaps says all you need to know. In a game Cam tells me we deserved to win, it appears Jesus lacked the killer instinct needed to flourish at this level. There are no prizes for trying.

    Squash and Badminton have now dispersed for their spring break. Although temperatures are set to rise next term, Owain stands firmly behind his decision to add a mid-layer to the range of rackets stash.

    JCBC got off to a flying start in Torpids with all 5 crews bumping up on day 1. M1 showed why we should have goal-line technology with a clear bump on Univ missed by the umpires and only given retrospectively after one pixel of our boat came suspiciously close to one of the pixels of theirs. You could also clearly hear the noise of a bump but, like the lunar landing, we’ll probably still be talking about it for years to come. M1 and M2 repeated the feat of the famous crews of ’97 by both winning blades. If not now, when? If not you, who?

    Sports Round-Up 7th Week HT15

    Last week I noted Leo Gebbie’s last home game for JCHC with a mixture of nostalgia and regret. Then, on Tuesday of 7th, a call-up from Tom Roberts meant JCFC fans would get to see Leo at Barts one last time:

    There was a mixed reaction. Would he be the same player as he was 4 days earlier? Were his legs still up to the job? He answered all his doubters within a couple of minutes of coming on in the second half, seizing the opportunity to place the ball confidently wide of the post from 6 yards. Like Thierry Henry’s return to Arsenal at Leeds, it was one of those sporting moments you just have to cherish. A strong performance against a team dubbed ‘absolutely useless’ by Sam Skillcorn including at least 5 debut call-ups from the seconds led to a 4-1 win.

    Not satisfied with just one game, Tom arranged to play Pembroke just 2 days later. Early on it was clear the team were suffering from a European hangover as ‘that big guy’ scored from a break. Parking the bus as we waited for Will Long to find his way to the pitch we managed to hold it to 2-0 (with Robin marking his last game with a show stopping challenge to give away with a penalty). The game descended into chaos second half with Pembroke representing all that is bad about premier league football and us representing all that is good about the Sunday League. Filip’s well-coordinated kick out during a barrel role led to a yellow card for their player after we surrounded the referee in outrage. We began to fight back but too little too late – the game finished 3-1.

    Nick notes again that the pool team either won or lost against someone this week.

    JCHC’s game this week was one of the most anticipated fixtures of the season with last year’s match leading to a #pepeonmeth twitter trend. A mix-up between Cam and Magdalen’s captain ate into Anna East’s 60-second cameo. It wasn’t long before Manson got himself involved in some controversy with a Magdalen player’s apology for a mistimed challenge being firmly rejected: ‘I don’t care if it was an accident, I’m going to foul you’. Like an enraged Cantona, Manson began to take control of the game by himself – even if it was at the expense of passing. Racing to a hat trick and his 30th goal for JCHC with Toby Swift only managing a meager 2, it was clear that Hugo was after just one thing – the success of the team. A mistake from Mooney, who looked out of sorts all game, cost Downes his clean sheet. Questions are now being asked as to whether Will will ever be able to make the step up from Varsity to JCHC.

    With just one week until Torpids, JCBC have upped the number of outings in search of bumps glory. Things look particularly promising for W2 who were able to miraculously cure the injury that left Adam Robinson unable to row for M2 in order to sub in for W2. A borrowed cox from Univ then went for an early-morning swim before being asked to pull over as he was kicked out and replaced with a megaphone-wielding coach. Meanwhile M1 responded to a call of ‘if I gave you a million pounds for every stroke you could row balanced, how hard would you try to balance the boat?’ by leaving the boat firmly unbalanced. That’s right kids: Money isn’t everything.


    Sports Round-Up 6th Week HT15

    The Sports round-up is back! This week’s bumper-edition features highlights stretching back as far as 1st week.

    Cam Lester’s hockey team has stormed into division 2 following their promotion last season. Am I right? Without compromising on their exciting brand of hockey, they have picked up 7 points from 4 in their new division with Manson finally reaching a landmark 25 goals for JCHC. Sadly for the JCHC stalwart, the limelight has arguably been on the mercurial talent that is Toby ‘scores when he wants’ Swift with 6 goals in 2 highlighting his potential. A successful loan spell at Queens when they only brought 9 men led to Chapman gaining some much-needed match experience – like a young David Beckham at Preston North End, there is no telling how far he could go in the game. The new Nike Victory II ‘chevron’ jerseys appear to have brought solidity to a historically porous back-line – with legend Downes recording the first clean-sheet in living memory, although there was a blip when Tom De Sousa taped on the pads last time out.

    The women’s hockey team haven’t actually played this term but both Kathy Page and Anna East have put in plucky performances in the men’s side as the team looks ahead to mixed cuppers.

    A couple of hard-fought matches with Keble and New for the Rugby team this term have ultimately led to disappointment – though not without drama. Tim Bell was sent off for a very high tackle while LLew head-butted his own teammate. Hugo Markland has attended almost all of the training sessions that he has organized for his team as Jesus look to close the gap on the teams around them now that under-21s are returning to college squads.

    The 1sts Football team have adapted to life in division 2 following last year’s promotion and now look likely to earn a solid mid-table finish. A brilliant game last week against top-of-the-league Pembroke was sadly affected by some ‘Phil Dowd’ refereeing decisions. In dominating large periods of the game, however, Tom Roberts’ side showed what this team is capable of. Having flirted with promotion earlier in the season, the team’s finalists are looking to go out on a high with their last 2 games against top and bottom of the league this week.

    James Chapman’s 2nds Football team won promotion to the 2nd tier! Jesus went into their match against Hilda’s knowing that it was a promotion decider, although such is the hype surrounding this team that every game this season has received that label. There were doubts this game would even happen with the pitch resembling a Total Wipeout challenge at kick-off. Having gone 2-0 down in the 1st half, Groundsman Dave allowed us to play on into the 2nd half (despite the tempestuous storms) given the special circumstances. A comeback to rival Istanbul ’05 led to a 3-2 win in Leo Gebbie’s last game on home soil.

    The Women’s Football team have played some matches, lost some matches, won some matches by forfeit and also battled to a draw. Parker-Humphries notes with fondness a time when she put in a cross for a goal in a textbook example of wingplay. With a growing squad, they are ones to watch next season.

    Fresher Nick Cochrane thinks the pool team has won some matches but couldn’t tell me which ones.

    Rosie’s Netball team benefited this week from employing Hugo Markland at centre – though he was almost sent home when he forgot his skort. Netball was also the only all-stars match to actually take place this term – a close game finishing with an all-star victory.

    A big term for Owain and Verity’s Racketsports teams as they stormed to a 5-1 victory over traditional badminton powerhouse Wadham. Returning captain David Hirst won his first ever match while Russel ‘Mayweather Jr.’ Cook is unbeaten in college squash.

    JCBC fought to the end in IWL but ultimately missed to an impressive Pembroke. With Manson and Stevner both returning to M1, this week will be vital to find the inches M1 needs as they go in search of blades in Torpids next week. The women are also aiming for a strong showing as they bid farewell to long-term coach James Marsden.


    Sports Round-Up 8th Week MT14

    Yet again, we start with an apology. This time for a huge omission from last week’s sports roundup. The heroic women of Jesus College showed their dominance on the rugby field with victory in touch rugby Cuppers a couple of weeks ago. Maguire, Williams, King and Phillips paired with two girls from Teddy Hall and from then, victory was on the cards. With four blues among the team of 6, nothing could stop the Tesus (is that what we’re going for?) girls. The final was a tense affair against the only team Tesus had lost to in the group stage. The two evenly matched teams traded blows until the game went to the dreaded “golden try”, the equivalent of the schoolyard tradition “next goal wins”. Tesus managed to grab the all important try and send the crowd into raptures (or I’m sure they would have, if there was a crowd). More Cuppers glory for the Jesus girls, great stuff!

    The boys’ rugby team also managed to finish their term in style with a comfortable 34-5 victory over Worcester, despite Jesus finishing the game with 14 men. That gave the Jesus boys their third win in as many games this season, sending them comfortably clear of relegation and securing division 1 rugby for next year. The boys will hope to carry on this good form to next term where an assault on the league title could be a possibility, and Cuppers awaits. The game was somewhat marred by a Worcester player having to be taken away in an ambulance after a blow to the head, so we wish him all the best.

    Football had a topsy turvy week. The boys had three games, starting with the firsts taking on Magdalen on Tuesday. The result really could have gone either way as neither side could stamp their authority on the game, but it ended in a 4-2 defeat for Jesus. They were hoping for better against Trinity two days later in a must-win game. Turning up to discover that Trinity’s two blues players weren’t playing, hopes were high. Jesus started the game with great intensity, playing the ball around nicely and not giving Trinity a sniff. A lobbed effort from Mohamed was enough to secure victory for Jesus, although it could and perhaps should have been more. 1-0 still sends Jesus 3rd in the league at the half way stage, with an outside chance of promotion next term if Jesus can do the double over the team with 9 uni players, table-topping, Cuppers semi-finalists, unbeaten Pembroke (easy as that, right?).

    The seconds football team had their Cuppers encounter on Wednesday. Univ 2nds proved to be tougher opposition than many had expected and Jesus were left looking very complacent in the first half, going into the break 4-0 down. A rousing team talk provoked Jesus to come out firing in the second half, scoring two quickfire goals and eventually bringing the game back to 5-3. A heroic save from a Skillcorn free kick by the Univ keeper denied Jesus a fourth, and from here Jesus seemed to switch off again, allowing Univ to score another four unanswered goals and leaving Chapman and his men wondering what might have been.

    Netball wrapped up their term in the same way as it’s gone all the way through, with a comfortable victory. I didn’t bother to find out what the score was, but I’m sure it was a lot and that the girls were all very good. Congrats.

    Easiest captaincy – Rosie Phillips, after the netball team’s comfortable dominance for the entire term

    Most swearwords in one minute – Tom Roberts, for every single one of his football team talks this year

    The “it’s not my problem anymore” Award – Aakash Khanijau, for his continuing “commitment” to the lacrosse team now he’s not captain

    The “jack of all trades” Award – The Corpus groundsman, for stepping in when his team only had 8 men and were losing 6-0 to Jesus in football this year

    The “if only I had that awareness, I’d be in the firsts” Award – Alex Proudfoot

    The Organisation Award – Hugo Markland, for his reliable presence in the JCR on a Tuesday lunchtime looking for rugby players

    The “you should see the other girl” Award – Anna Maguire, Rebecca Cavanagh and Kim Williams, for their consistently horrible bruises every Wednesday after playing rugby

    Sports Round-up 6th and 7th weeks MT14

    Sorry for the lack of sports roundup last week.

    The boys’ football teams have only played two games between them in the last two weeks. The firsts game was a bit of a non-event given that Corpus turned up with 9 players, two of whom had to leave for a tute at half time. The Corpus groundsman made an appearance in the second half and helped keep the result down to 7-1 to Jesus. The seconds had a dramatic Cuppers encounter with Balliol, a topsy-turvy affair with neither team really being able to assert their dominance in what was a high quality affair. Swift bagged himself a hat-trick on the way to a 4-3 Jesus victory, but the end of the game could have been very different. A penalty awarded to Jesus before a disallowed Balliol goal for offside left the men in red feeling aggrieved, but Jesus marched on to the next round – an 8th week encounter with Univ.

    The girls also had a Cuppers game, a quarter final no less, against a team with a 100% league and cup record this year. Unfortunately, the Jesus Cuppers dream, like all good things, came to an end with a 9-1 defeat, although the girls should reflect on their great success to get to this stage. It has also been said that the Jesus girls’ aggression managed to intimidate their opposition, although with a couple of rugby blues in the Jesus team is that really any surprise?

    Moving on from football, the hockey season was also wrapped up in the last couple of weeks. The girls finished their season earlier in term, so they were able to rest and prepare for their assault on Cuppers next term. Attempts to secure a mixed friendly were initially looking good, until Exeter, true to form, pulled out leaving Jesus safe in their longstanding knowledge that Exeter are in fact really scared of us. That left the boys (and East) to their final promotion/title/relegation showdown with Trinity. Due to the unique way college hockey is organized, all three of these outcomes were possible, and Jesus knew their big players had to perform. Not being one to disappoint, “Hugoals” Manson reclaimed his name with two goals. Some pundits have dubbed the East-Mooney central midfield partnership as “one that will go down in history” and it certainly did contribute to the 2-0 Jesus victory. Lester can only hope his team can live up to the enhanced expectations next time around.

    The rugby team have been quietly going about their business (or as quietly as is possible for a team led by Markland) with victories against Teddy Hall and Exeter helping to secure the Jesus College Team of the Year title for the boys to cap off a great year. The Teddy Hall game finished 44-29 to Jesus, but 16 points worth of bad things done by the opposition meant the result will go down as 60-29. Exeter were seen off in equally comfortable fashion, 44-17 (or something like that, says the Twitter) the result. A final encounter next week with New or Worcester (I think) will hopefully end the season with victory for the Jesus boys.

    Lacrosse managed to get a big turn out this week as well for the final game of the season, with early rumours suggesting that even Khanijau might turn out, although it is as yet unconfirmed whether this did happen.

    Jesus obviously won again in netball, and it’s getting to a point where it’s almost cliché. 24-10 may have been the final score this week against New College. I’m not much of a netball expert, but I think the Blues scouts should be sniffing around the Jesus players in weeks to come.

    A big week in 8th week sees boys’ football and rugby wrap up their terms with potentially season-defining games, the headliner of which is definitely the seconds footballers foray into the later stages of Cuppers on Wednesday. Look out for the awards next week as well!

    JCR Committee Election Results MT14

    The results are in and the JCR committee for next year are…

    Vice-President/Treasurer: Tom Roberts

    Women’s Welfare Officer: Kathy Page

    Men’s Welfare Officer: Dan Bright

    Access Rep Sam Skillcorn

    Charities Representative: Jonathan Clingman

    Environment and Ethics Representative: Eduin Boater-Latimer

    Academic Affairs Representative: Hugo Markland

    Secretary: Anna Turner-Major

    Sports Representative: Chris Mansfield

    Arts Representative: Amelia Brown

    Bar and Food Representative: Tim Bell

    Equal Opportunities Representative: Ima Bishop

    IT Officer: Tom De Sousa

    Social Secretary: Charley Samuelson

    Entertainments Representative: Geo Merchant

    OUSU Representative: David Cakebread

    The winners of the charities ballot are Student Minds, Cancer Research and The Alzheimer’s Society.

    A graphical summary of the results can be viewed here, or a numerical summary can be viewed here.

    Congratulations to all those elected!

    Women at Jesus Bar Party on Friday

    This Friday an exciting event is being held in the bar as part of the celebrations to commemorate the 40 years that women have studied at Jesus. You can find out more by checking your emails or visiting the Facebook event.

    Results of Presidential Election

    The winner of yesterday’s election and Jesus’ new JCR President is Jessy Parker Humphreys! Congratulations! The voting figures can be viewed here.

    Presidential elections this Thursday

    Elections for President are happening this Thursday from 9am to 9pm. You will be sent an email with voting instructions on Wednesday. You can find out more about the 3 candidates here.

    Sports Round-up 5th week MT14

    Unfortunately for the girls this week, none of football, hockey or netball were able to continue their dominance. Not due to lack of ability or talent however, rather due to a scarcity of willing opposition. The hockey season is over, so Cuppers awaits next term to see if Jesus can get back to the top of the hockey world. As for football, no game was planned this week so Parker-Humphreys’ side could rest and relive last week’s Cuppers glory. Netball also lacked opposition, but I’m assured there will be a game next week.

    While we’re on the topic of teams without a game, the boys’ football 1sts had their game mysteriously removed from the OUAFC website, although an upcoming game against Corpus/Linacre could send Jesus 2nd in the table.

    The rugby boys knew they would be in for a tough game against high-flying New, but managed to more than hold their own in the end. New ran the length of the pitch in the dying minutes to secure a 14-10 victory, but Jesus had already secured survival in the top division and the next “season” starts again immediately next week. Rugby also had a game against a visiting Durham college this week and, against all expectations (especially since Markland had 11 players and no pitch about an hour before kick off) pulled off a 19-17 victory.

    Hockey did have a game, facing the old Cuppers adversaries SPC/Hertford (why they’re allowed a joint team, I don’t know) who turned up with 18 players for this league fixture. Not to be intimidated, Jesus raced into a 1-0 lead courtesy of Swift, on his debut this year. A headed goal-line clearance from Fordham (yep, he headed that hockey ball) and some inspired goalkeeping from Downes kept Jesus well in the game, and they took a 2-1 lead into the last 15 minutes. Unfortunately, like many great teams, it just wasn’t our day, it was a game of two halves, and we ended up sick as parrots. Two quickfire goals meant a 3-2 defeat, but a win next week can still secure promotion to the lofty heights of Div 2.

    The ultimate “game of two halves” came on Tuesday with the seconds football team facing the college we all love to hate (if you don’t know who that is, you really need to reassess your status as a Jesus student). Racing into a 2-0 lead, all was looking extremely promising for Jesus at half time. Chapman’s team talk had a distinct air of confidence and optimism, but the second half was a more torrid affair. Exeter managed to claw themselves back onto level terms and it was 2-2 with 5 minutes to go. It was truly end-to-end stuff, but then some pinball in the Jesus box saw the Exeter man smash the ball home for a 3-2 victory. Gutting for the Jesus boys, but promotion is still on the cards, and the Cuppers dream is still alive with a game against Balliol next week.

    Dinner dance is coming soon!

    Remember to sign up for dinner dance on before next Monday! It will be on Monday of 8th – and promises to be a fantastic night.

    Sports Round-up 4th week MT14

    It has to be said that the girls really did steal all the headlines this week. In the interest of balance, let’s deal with the boys first.

    Rugby had an incredibly unlucky time, losing by just two points to Teddy Hall at home on Tuesday. A commendable result against a team that can field such a huge number of uni players, and the spirit showed by the Jesus boys will take them far. Two games next week – one against high-flyers New, and another against a visiting Durham college – bring the league season to an end.

    The hockey team didn’t have much better fate either, going out of Cuppers at the first hurdle to LMH. It was always going to be difficult without Mooney and East, the former having taken a ball to the face in a uni game that morning, and the absence of Captain Lester didn’t help matters either. A 2-0 defeat means Jesus can concentrate on the promotion push in the league.

    The seconds football team did fare better, beating a depleted St John’s 5-2. Goals from Cakebread (2), Gebbie, Manson (yes, he finally scored) and a disputed goal for Strachan maintained Jesus’ 100% record going into next week’s Turl Street derby against fellow table-toppers Exeter. Rarely has a college seconds match received so much hype, with those in the know saying the winners of this game will likely go on to take the title.

    In mixed lacrosse, an increased turnout combined with a few Lincoln players meant the match against Queen’s could go ahead. It did result in a 4-3 loss, but pundits have been commenting that without the loss of ex-captain Khanijau on the morning of the game, the result could’ve been very different.

    Now, back to the girls.

    The netball team continued their roaring success this season, back to their convincing best with a 19-4 victory on Friday. I don’t know whether Jesus are really good or everyone else is pretty bad, but who cares?

    Following last week’s dig at the boys, the pressure was on Parker-Humphreys and her side to walk the walk, and that they did. A moment she has since described as the pinnacle of her sporting career saw Wharton put Jesus 1-0 up and on the way to victory. Goals from the captain herself and a player known only to me as “Lexi” wrapped up a 3-0 victory and progression to the Cuppers quarter-finals. Incredible performances all round. Further credit has to go to the members of the team who dashed off immediately after the game to hockey and rowing – great effort!

    In keeping with the girls’ Cuppers superiority, the hockey team also managed to secure their place in the next round with an 8-2 victory. Despite being struck down by food poisoning, East scored 4 goals to set the team on the way to victory. Only having 10 players, Captain Page was forced to play an unusual midfield role leaving her “too busy wheezing” to pay much attention to the game, but even that couldn’t stop her inspiring her side to arguably their greatest victory in living memory.

    Again, huge well done to all the girls this week. The women of 1974 would be proud.

    Sports Round-up 3rd week MT14

    This week began with disappointment permeating the Jesus sporting elite. Having psyched themselves up for a huge clash with Merton/Mansfield, the men’s 2nds football team woke up to hear that the game was cancelled, the M&Ms captain having emailed Chapman just an hour before kick-off. As if this wasn’t bad enough, it was made worse by the knowledge that M&Ms had last week been beaten 12-0 by Exeter, so even Proudfoot was backing himself to score in this one. Still, 3 points for Jesus. On a similar note, the women’s team had their game against St Anne’s called off due to Anne’s not being able to muster enough players. As Parker-Humphreys was keen to point out in her email, this means the women have already done better in Cuppers than the men’s 1sts. Congrats girls.

    On the topic of the men’s 1sts, Roberts’ men managed to secure their first win of the season against St John’s this week. After a fairly flat first half, Jesus sprung into life in the second and ran away with the game 5-1. Some selfless play from Swift allowed Skillcorn to complete a birthday hat-trick and put Jesus well on the way to victory. Captain Roberts also managed to grab his first (and surely not last) bullet header of the league campaign, with Swift getting the other goal. No game for a couple of weeks now for the Jesus boys.

    Rugby also went will this week, with Markland’s men securing a 55-29 victory over St Catz to propel themselves back to the upper echelons of the table and all-but-secure first division safety, barring any ridiculous results in the coming weeks. With Teddy Hall and New left to play, it was important for Jesus to get a win in this one. Rumour has it Fielden might even have scored, but it was Livingstone who stole the show with 4 (ish) tries.

    The netball girls faced Osler House on Saturday in their post-Halloween state and were given a bit of a fright (sorry!) before managing to pull through and win a close-fought encounter by a single goal/point/basket/shot/whatever they call them in netball. Whatever, they won, by one. The big chat surrounding the game is the fact that Moon White managed to get injured before even stepping onto the court, so well done for that.

    Unfortunately, lacrosse had to be cancelled this week due to a lack of players. Lacrosse has a long and illustrious history at Jesus, with the team maintaining a 100% win ratio in competitive league fixtures last year, and it would be sad to see that die. Meet in the lodge at 9.45 on Saturday to get involved! Please.

    Finally, to hockey. The women had a tough time this week, fielding a number of complete novices in their game against Worcester, and ultimately they came out second-best. Captain Page was naturally disappointed with the result, but commended the performance of her players. Meanwhile, Uni 2s player East is said to be riddled with guilt following her no-show. She did, however, make an appearance to help the men to a 2-1 victory over Brasenose, a match which included Manson’s first goal of the season. Not quite the 5 goals he managed in the 11-2 victory last year, but it’s the result that matters.

    Rowing is still going on as well, much to the dismay of all those involved, but with Christ Church Regatta fast approaching and the men’s novices gearing up to defend the Nephthys title, it’s all to play for.

    Sports Round-up 2nd week MT14

    Firstly, I make no apologies for how much this week’s roundup is biased towards football, or how long it is.

    Before we get to that, there’s been some whinging that cricket is never covered in the sports round up, so here goes. Some cricket was played last year, Jesus won some games and lost some games, didn’t end up getting promoted, and captain Steele scored some runs (that last part is the main reason he wanted a cricket bit).

    Back to more current sport, the rugby boys had a game this week. Following the elation of last week, they were brought back down to earth with a bang against Keble. Leaking four tries in a 20-minute period of the first half, you’re never going to make the game easy against a college which supplies a disproportionate amount of the Blues squads. Jesus rallied in the second-half however, with Drane continuing his prolific try-scoring form by grabbing another two, to only lose the game 38-24. This result was made sweeter with the scoring of the bonus-point fourth try in the very last play. Early indications are suggesting that the boys may even be able to bring along some subs to the next game, so maybe this game was just a blip.

    Hockey had a simultaneously pleasing and disappointing week. 5-0 victories for both teams make the disappointment seem unjustified, but since these victories are down to both sets of opposition being unable to field teams, captains Page and Lester were not happy. Page is again claiming all of the goals and, in her post-match analysis, awarded woman of the match to King for “cycling all the way there and back”. Rumour has it the women played a 5-a-side game instead, although I’ve been totally unable to find out the score in this one… The men’s team were going to have a training session instead, but they sacked it off in favour of welfare tea.

    Lacrosse hasn’t had the best of starts this term, and a lack of players meant a joint team with Christ Church was necessary to face New College, with even ex-captain Khanijau absent from the side. Despite this, Jesus-Christ (has a certain ring to it, I think) managed a 2-1 win.

    The first Jesus sports fixture of the year to fall victim to rain was netball this week. Captain Phillips wasn’t even going to play the game, so it didn’t affect her, but hopefully the same won’t happen next week.

    Rowing deserves a mention this week too. The women’s four managed to finish as runners-up in the Autumn Fours even this weekend, making their way through the knockout competition of around 20 crews to ultimately lose to Hertford in the final by just half a length. As captain Huttner insisted, not bad at all for a scratch crew.

    Finally, football. The women had their first game of the season this week and, in the absence of new captain Parker-Humphreys, Maguire was allowed to step in for one last hurrah as captain. She couldn’t quite bow out in style as she might have liked, with a 6-0 defeat against a reportedly difficult Wolfson/St Antony’s side, who were insistent on playing the full 40 minute halves despite their dominance and the struggling of the Jesus girls.

    The boys had a topsy-turvy week. Starting off with a cancelled seconds game on Tuesday, the mood was high with JCFC seconds sitting top of the table. Thursday rolled round and the game against Queen’s came. After some scintillating play in the first half, Jesus went in to the break in the lead. The tide turned, however, and a combination of illness and injury meant Jesus ended the game with a completely different back four to those who started, and the final result was a 5-3 defeat. Following this, Saturday saw the first round of Cuppers against last year’s Premier Division whipping boys St Hugh’s. Riding on the support of the fans, Jesus stormed into a 1-0 half-time lead and optimism reigned. Some questionable (at best) decisions in the second half led to two disallowed goals for Jesus, and a speculative St Hugh’s effort saw them equalize to take the game to extra time. Feeling like dead men walking, both teams played out the 30 minutes to take it into the dreaded shootout. All square after four penalties each, Skillcorn was entrusted with the all-important fifth kick, went for the headlines and missed the top corner by millimetres (although, as I’ve been reminded plenty of times since, it doesn’t matter how close it is, it still missed). The St Hugh’s man stepped up and scored to secure progression into the next round for his team. The final score, 1-1 with St Hugh’s winning 4-3 on penalties. Disappointment and despair permeated the Jesus camp in the aftermath as many of the third-years realized that they would never play beyond the first round of Cuppers at Oxford. One thing which was unanimous at the end was that it was one of the best games we’ve ever played in, and that no one really deserved to lose. Hopefully the seconds can do better next week.

    A quick mention should also go to everyone who competed in cross-country cuppers this week, especially the girls who won the team event! Applause to Hannah Plaschkes and Bethanie Murray for their individual 4th and 9th place finishes. Congrats!

    Sports Round-up 1st week MT14

    Another term, another 8 weeks of sport.

    It was a cracking start to Jesus’ sporting calendar on Tuesday, with men’s rugby and 2nds football both in action. The rugby team, freed from the shackles of Fielden’s captaincy, were hoping to introduce themselves into college rugby’s top league in style. Spending most of the first half camped in the John’s/Anne’s half, Markland’s side managed to establish a lead at half time. They held on in the second half to win 29-12 and put themselves top of the league. That’s right, the best team in the uni. And that is how it remains, until New’s 33-10 victory is finally confirmed at least.

    Not to be outdone, the men’s 2nds football team put on a stellar first-half display against a lacklustre (at best) Wadham 3rds, despite lacking key players Proudfoot and Khanijau. The opposition managed to put out only 10 players, and their keeper had a torrid time against the firepower of the likes of Lester and Gebbie (yes, that’s right, President Gebbie grabbed himself a goal) and Jesus went into the interval 5-1 up. Whispers that we might be ending up with a cricket score emerged as Wadham lost another player at half time, while Chapman was able to bring on fresh legs to ensure Jesus’ dominance. The second-half display was less impressive from Jesus, although it did see the industrious Cakebread finally put away one of his 50 chances to get off the mark for the season. 6-1 the result.

    The women’s season doesn’t get underway until next week in the footballing world, although Parker-Humphreys will be hoping to ride on the tide of enthusiasm kicked up by Maguire last year and get off to a winning start.

    The men’s firsts, on the other hand, had a less successful week. Facing relegated Trinity, who could boast a Blues centre-back in their starting line-up, the game was always going to be tough. The first-half was a high quality affair, with both teams creating chances to no avail. That was until Cooke broke down the wing and saw his shot parried by the keeper, into the path of the oncoming Skillcorn (who managed to get off the mark at the right end this season). Football managers would describe this goal, on the stroke of half time, as the perfect time to score. Going into the break 1-0 up, Jesus were feeling confident. This all changed a few minutes into the second half when the Blues captain/all time most capped/all time top scorer came on for Trinity. To make a long story short, he was really good, and Jesus lost 3-1. Not the best of starts, but the pundits are already pointing to the way Jesus started last year as evidence that one game doesn’t make a season.

    Hockey also began this week. The women’s team had a bit of a false start. With new captain Page at the helm, hopes were high. The squad was assembled, only to be disappointed by the news that the opposition had cancelled the game. Birthday girl Page claimed all of the goals in the 5-0 win for herself, and made a decision almost unheard of in college hockey circles: she put on a training session for the girls. Surely this is cause for great optimism for next week.

    The men’s/mixed team didn’t have quite such an easy day. Newly capped Uni 3rds keeper Faisal Ebrahim was unavailable, leaving Lester with no choice but to stick with Downes in goal. The Manson-Mooney partnership that served Jesus so well last year looked like it was going to be fruitful again, as Jesus stormed into a 1-0 lead early on, Mooney getting the goal. They were unable to capitalize, however, and Lincoln managed to grab an equalizer late on to leave the final score 1-1. “Hugoals” Manson was unable to fully live up to his billing as the new star of the Uni 3rds, and he reportedly berated the team afterwards claiming “everyone was rubbish, Mooney was pretty good” in his post-match rant. Interesting talk on Twitter over the Uni vs College debate (much like club vs country for you football fans) dominated the aftermath of the match.

    1st week saw record turnout for the Jesus College Badminton Club, so much so that Jesubites had to go to the extremes of sharing courts with Exeter. It’s set to be a good year in badminton at this rate.

    Finally, netball. New captain Phillips was so supremely confident in the abilities of her side that she didn’t even start the game herself, leaving it in the capable hands of the rest of her team. Following a horrific injury to Wharton, Phillips did come on and helped her side to an emphatic 18-4 victory. Fear not though, Wharton made a miraculous recovery to play a further part in the game and doctors have said the grazes on her hands shouldn’t leave any long-term damage.

    2nd week will be a big week for Jesus, with more fixtures and some Cuppers campaigns starting, so hopefully last year’s success can continue.

    Choir tour to Bratislava and Vienna

    Choir in Bratislava

    The summer vacation had barely begun when twenty-three members of the Jesus College Chapel Choir embarked on a choral tour of Bratislava, Slovakia, and Vienna, Austria. With high hopes, great expectations, and an almost total ignorance of Slovak, our number trekked the distance using an assortment of planes, buses, boats and trains to convene at the predestined hostel in the centre of Bratislava. Notwithstanding the evening swelter we crammed into one of the rooms to attempt the first rehearsal of the tour.

    Musical preparations for the visit were already in motion. We had practised a selection of new pieces in the final weeks of Trinity term to complement our familiar repertoire. This consisted largely of Byrd and Tallis, but covered a range of other traditional English choral classics which we had honed over many weeks of Sunday Evensong services. Armed also with shiny new leather folders (green, of course) emblazoned with our college crest, we arrived ready to dazzle both vocally and visually.

    The first full day soon dawned. Once again subjected to the magnifying glass of the Slovakian sun, we wandered into the stunning city centre for a quick slurp of something cold before our engagement to sing the Sunday midday Mass at St. Martin’s Cathedral. It is a beautiful Cathedral, its ancient spire dominating the capital’s skyline, overpowered only by the imposing Castle standing alone on its rocky plateau. We were welcomed by an ornate yet proportionate interior, and ascended the spiral staircase to the choir loft in order to clear our throats before our debut performance abroad as an ensemble. It was a great success; we were convinced that all those hours spent learning our various parts had paid off. Thanks are due to the local organists, however, who cued us in amidst the torrent of incomprehensible Slovak.

    Half of the day’s appointments completed, and thanking God for the existence of sunscreen, many decided to take advantage of the splendid mixture of a free afternoon, plentiful ice cream and reasonably-priced beverages – predominantly, but not exclusively, beer. Some perhaps enjoyed this combination a little too much, coaxing impromptu recitals on the Castle museum piano.

    The next singing occasion swiftly followed, this time at the city’s Franciscan Church. Little did we know this would prove one of the most memorable parts of the tour. Inevitably bedraggled and fatigued from the afternoon’s explorations, we remained stoic in the manner characteristic of Oxford College Choirs (not Exeter) as we stood to sing the Mass in the rustic environs of the oldest surviving religious building in Bratislava. Our efforts were gladly received and we were charmed that almost the entire congregation remained for the concert which immediately followed the service. It was a pleasure to sing to so responsive an audience. This joy, however, paled in significance when compared with the bounteous food, refreshments, wines, juices and cakes to which we were treated by the Franciscan brothers. The supply was vast. Such was the thoughtfulness of our hosts that the individual items had been arranged into smiley faces – some bespectacled, to represent Oxford students. Though sad to leave, we parted feeling truly touched by the kindness we had received as we walked briskly in the cool of the evening to make our dinner reservation. Three delicious courses and a picture-perfect view over the moonlit rooftops of Bratislava brought the full day to a close, leaving just enough time for a final visit to the local bar.

    Boat trip on the Danube

    Morning came, and on the third day we rose to bid Bratislava farewell and in its place to salute arguably the musical capital of the world, Vienna. The decision had been taken to reach our exciting final destination by boat; the two cities are separated by a mere seventy-nine kilometre stretch of the Danube. This turned out to be tremendous fun. Those of us who explored the outdoor decks were suitably buffeted as the catamaran sped through the salubrious bliss of the Donau-Auen National Park. Also taken as a prime opportunity for team snaps and photo poses, we very much felt a unity of singers, clad in intimidatingly green choir polo shirts complete with occasionally comedic Latin inscriptions.

    We arrived at our destination, and with an afternoon to spare, treated ourselves to some of its fine Viennese delights. The city is rich and fascinating in terms its Habsburg patrimony in addition to its musical and artistic tradition. There was plenty to see, whether the magnificent Hofburg, Schönbrunn and Belvedere Palaces, the latter modelled on the Palace of Versailles, or the vast array of art museums, not to mention Vienna’s impressive musical legacy (home at different times to Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven, Schubert, the Strausses, Mahler, among many others). We reconvened at Stephansplatz, the central square presided over by the city’s immaculately-roofed Cathedral, to find some dinner – for most, a schnitzel of some description. The sun set and we returned to the hostel to recover some sleep, although some of us went via a marvellous little wine bar we found en route.

    Day four brought with it our first singing engagement in Vienna, and rather dauntingly, this was one of the lunchtime concerts in the Stephansdom itself. After queuing patiently outside we were ushered in through the south entrance and made ourselves comfortable in the designated seating, taking a few moments to gaze upwards at the colossal and exquisite gothic interior. We soon began our recital, the various clusters of churchgoers, visitors and tourists drifting to our side of the Cathedral to listen. It was an uplifting experience and a genuine privilege to perform at such a venue. That evening we sang once more; we were due to perform a concert at the Peterskirche, only a stone’s throw from the Cathedral. We powered through our long list of pieces, braving the bright lights but savouring the highly decorated ovular nave. Another successful concert later, and having sung fifteen musical items, we dealt with the appetite with another foray into Austrian cuisine.

    And then all of a sudden it was our last full day. Since our only appointment was a final concert at the Lutheranstadtkirche, we had another excuse to tour the city. Activities of choice ranged from the Spanische Hofreitschule (Spanish Riding School), the famous centre for classical dressage, to sampling the Viennese coffee-and-cake culture in the traditional fashion. We even found a café once frequented by Trotsky. Given that we were visitors in a musical capacity, loaded with English choral treasures, many of us decided to perfect this cultural exchange by scouting the Mozarthaus, Figarohaus, Haus der Musik, and numerous other attractions and museums dedicated to Vienna’s fabulous musical heritage. All this had to draw to a close as our last concert approached. This process proved troublesome for three of our party, the present writer included, who by getting lost on the city’s tram network achieved the undistinguished feat of taking nearly half an hour to move one metro stop in the wrong direction. We confidently sang our hearts out, irrelevant the modest audience, the repertoire which had initially seemed so formidable now both familiar and empowering.

    We thanked our Lutheran hosts, and following a short reception, strolled into the city centre. Unsurprisingly we were tired, hungry and thirsty, and were looking forward to eating at the Italian restaurant at which we were due to dine as a group. Fortunately, one of our number, The Rev. Canon Adrian Daffern, adroitly and perceptibly identified this mass dehydration as we navigated the many squares of the city centre. Gallantly he led our party forth to the one non-alcoholic drinking establishment in sight, determined single-handedly to see to our water, juice and tea-based recovery. For this we were all immensely grateful, none more so than his wife, our dear Chaplain, upon whom he sprung his generous intention to settle the bill before us all. We marched on to enjoy a luscious last supper together. Blemished only by the approaching end of our choral journey, and one or two unwise text message exchanges, we laughed and guffawed in the merry company of our choir friends. As the dark of night and empty wine bottles eventually reminded us of departure the following morning, we gingerly returned to our hostel, our heads and hearts stuffed with happy memories sufficient to last us until the start of Michaelmas term.

    The Jesus College Choir Tour 2014 was a resounding success, and with both excitement and anticipation we look forward to the next. Many thanks are due to The Rev. Dr Megan Daffern, our lovely Chaplain and her affable husband, the Rev. Canon Adrian Daffern. Particular gratitude is owed to our Senior and Junior Organ Scholars, James Bowstead and Lottie Orr, without whose hard work such a fantastic visit would surely have remained an impossibility.

    Daniel Judd

    You can find out more about the Jesus choir and past tours the choir have been on here.