Lost 4-1 on shuffles – despite keeping it 0-0 all match due some great saves from Kathy Page
No football this week but some big matches lined up apparently!
Lost 4-1 on shuffles – despite keeping it 0-0 all match due some great saves from Kathy Page
No football this week but some big matches lined up apparently!
Lost 22-5 to St Johns / Anne’s (biased ref, apparently)
1st’s won 2-1 against St Hilda’s
2nd’s won 3-2 on penalties in the cuppers semi finals
Won 14-10 against Magdalen
Won 16-11 against Balliol
Mens’ boats 3rd fastest crew on the river, and the 3rd fastest mens B boat as well!
…and finally: Boxing
Town vs Gown is on Wednesday, go support Matt et al. and see some amazing boxing!
Last year’s changes to the constitution have now been ratified by College. The main document is currently being re-drafted; a summary of the changes can be downloaded here (.docx; opens in new tab).
The minutes for last week’s JCR meeting have been published, and are available to download here.
Won 15-10 against Lincoln
Lost 4-1 to Lincoln
Won 11-2 against Trinity/LMH
Rescheduled but have moved up a division!
Mens 1st football
Lost 2-1 to Mansfield/Merton
Mens 2nd football
Playing against Catz tomorrow at home, kick off 2:00pm.
Hi everyone. This website has now been updated with details of the new JCR Committee, along with minor changes to the welfare and prospective student pages. Hilary term will see a complete overhaul of this site (to coincide with the relaunch of the main College website), introducing features such as a mobile version and improved archiving of news and JCR meeting minutes. Many pages are out-of-date or lacking detail; if you would like to contribute towards the new website in any way – even if you’d just like an internal JCR society advertised – do let me know:
Congratulations to your new JCR Committee!!
Treasurer – Omar Mohsen
Women’s Welfare Officer – Saloni Patel
Men’s Welfare Officer – Llewelyn Hopwood
Secretary – Hugo Markland
Access Representative – Jess Keating
Academic Affairs Representative – Hannah Burrows
Charities Representative – Rosie Morgan
Arts Representative – John Goodacre
Sports Representative – Elysia Hannaford
OUSU Representative – Charlie Davies
Equal Opportunities Representative – Alice Harrett
Environment and Ethics Representative – Luke Green
Social Secretary – Emilia Demetriades
Entertainments Representative – Hamish Paget-Brown
Domestic Representative – Matt Roche
IT Officer – Harry Gibbs
Turl Street Homeless Action
Cancer Research UK
Medicins sons Frontieres
A detailed breakdown of the results can be found here
Here are the manifestos of those running for next year’s JCR Committee:
Don’t forget to vote tomorrow!
Men’s Welfare Officer:
Turl Street Homeless Action – Jon Clingman
Action for Trans Health – Jessy Parker Humphreys
Medicins sons Frontieres – Faisal Ebrahim
Motor Neurone Disease Association – Hannah Burrows
Amnesty International – Alex Walker
The Newman Holiday Trust – Isabella Cullen
Pancreatic cancer UK – Catrin Prior
It was the opening game of what will prove to be a decisive JCFC 2nds season, under the mighty leadership of David “Please can we leave out any of my exploits from freshers week from the match report because apparently there may be some sort of JCR election in the near future” Cakebread.
Jesus entered the game with high hopes of beating a St. Hugh’s side whose only threatening player seemed to be their “man-bun” striker. The boys in green had already suffered a setback when it was decided that Matt “I hate playing in goal why do I have to keep playing there” Roche was picked to start in goal. However a strong fresher showing leading to debuts for Joe “Reckons he’s a better than average player for Liverpool” Small, Jonny “Only here because he thought it was a first game” Betteridge and Ed “I cannot remember your surname so I’m going to make it up” Harris. Alongside this new blood were JCFC veterans such as Rob “I love taking goal kicks” Fordham, Jon “Honestly I always have complete control over my rage” Hubbert and everyone’s favourite George “Please stop calling me ineffectual I’m not actually that bad at football” Parker.
The game started well for Jesus as a succession of long balls led to David “Please can we not just play long ball” Cakebread having several chances which he sadly failed to convert. However disaster struck when Hugh’s thought they’d have a go at this long ball lark, and Rob “He’s a 4th year why is he not playing for the MCR” Fordham misjudged the bounce, allowing the Human Manbun who was playing up front for Hugh’s to chip the poor stranded Matt “Seriously I’m only 5’8” on a good day why have I been put in goal” Roche in the Jesus net.
The lads in green responded well though, as a fantastic ball from Jon “This pass led to him comparing himself to Mesut Ozil” Hubbert allowed Jonny “By now fed up with the standard of the players he was forced to play with” Betteridge to cross for David “Some of the freshers thought his surname was a joke” Cakebread to power a header in.
The celebrations of JCFC’s first goal of the season did not last long however as Michał “Like I’m capable of spelling your last name” _________ was robbed of possession in midfield, and a seemingly tame Hugh’s shot was inexplicitly allowed to squirm under the somewhat useless dive of Matt “I told you I was no good in goal” Roche.
Jesus went into half time at 2-1 down, which left to a raft of changes being made. Alex “Oh my God he just nearly cut that guy in half with his tackle” McCallion, Theo “The silent destroyer” Jones and David “I’m not sure in which order I’m meant to put your names” Yedam Cho all entered the fray. Crucially there was also a change at goalkeeper as Connor “I played goalkeeper once in Year 7” Sewell replaced Matt “Oh good now I get to be linesman I’m so lucky yippee for me” Roche.
Connor “Wait a minute he’s actually quite good in goal why did he not start there” Sewell had a fantastic second half between the sticks, but was unable to stop Hugh’s slicing through the Jesus defence like a Unnamed-because-there’s-an-election-coming-up-Freshers-Shark, allowing a simple tap in for a Hugh’s player who I cannot be bother to come up with a name for.
Despite the best efforts of Hugo “He’s far too disciplined a CDM to be playing for this team” Manson and a classic leg breaking tackle from Alex “How did the ref not send him off for this was he blind or just stupid” McCallion, Jesus could not stop the Hugh’s onslaught, and they scored again after a clever free kick led to a stunning overhead kick that left many in the Jesus team wondering if this was truly St Hugh’s’ third team. Possibly before or after that goal I got confused a single Hugh’s player managed to jig his way through the entire Jesus midfield and curl an unstoppable shot into the corner of Connor “Only just taller than Matt” Sewell’s goal.
There were some brave attempts to stage a comeback from Jesus, most notably a wonderful dribble from Rob “Please make sure you mention my dribble in the match report it was the best thing I’ve ever done on a football field” Fordham, as well as some fantastic all round play from Michał “Should be playing in the 1sts but Cakebread is such a smooth talker he managed to get him to turn out for the 2nds, plus I’ve now managed to copy your surname from Facebook so here it comes” Dąbrówka, but unfortunately it was not to be.
Final Score: St Hugh’s 5- Jesus 1
Man of the Match: Cam “I haven’t mentioned him thus far and wanted to try and get everyone into the report, plus he played quite well despite getting substituted twice” Lester.
Below is the list of candidates for Freshers’ Week President for next Michaelmas. You can find more about each of them by clicking on their names.
You can cast your vote between 9am and 9pm on Thursday. To vote, follow the instructions the email you will be sent on Wednesday.
JCFC finally said their goodbyes to the finalists this week with a stellar performance in the sunshine and hail against Worcester. The potency of the three-pronged attack of Gebbie, Khanijau and Wilson led many to wonder why it had taken JCFC management to find a system that got the best out of all three players. In the 23rd minute of additional time the 3 combined to tee up stand-in keeper Manson for a heroic volley which he politely scuffed wide – it wouldn’t have been fair for him to steal the limelight.
Jesus Football also played in their first international fixture this week against The Polish Society. The game was not without controversy as Omar Mohsen started for Poland despite controversy about his eligibility. Eventually this was cleared up as Filip confirmed that he had in fact taken part in a Vodka Party. Led by Marcin Bielinski, the Poles put in a strong performance in their first ever fixture and like New York City looked to be on their way to a victory. It was however decided that the winner of the game should be decided by a penalty shoot-out. Seconds’ stalwart McCallion stepped up in goal, producing a fine save early on. Predictably, however, it was heartbreak in the end as Andy ‘Southgate’ Wilson skied the 5th leaving ‘world-class’ Kempski to put Jesus out of their misery.
JCHC had a must-win fixture against Merton-Mansfield. A suspiciously quiet twitter feed perhaps says all you need to know. In a game Cam tells me we deserved to win, it appears Jesus lacked the killer instinct needed to flourish at this level. There are no prizes for trying.
Squash and Badminton have now dispersed for their spring break. Although temperatures are set to rise next term, Owain stands firmly behind his decision to add a mid-layer to the range of rackets stash.
JCBC got off to a flying start in Torpids with all 5 crews bumping up on day 1. M1 showed why we should have goal-line technology with a clear bump on Univ missed by the umpires and only given retrospectively after one pixel of our boat came suspiciously close to one of the pixels of theirs. You could also clearly hear the noise of a bump but, like the lunar landing, we’ll probably still be talking about it for years to come. M1 and M2 repeated the feat of the famous crews of ’97 by both winning blades. If not now, when? If not you, who?
Last week I noted Leo Gebbie’s last home game for JCHC with a mixture of nostalgia and regret. Then, on Tuesday of 7th, a call-up from Tom Roberts meant JCFC fans would get to see Leo at Barts one last time:
There was a mixed reaction. Would he be the same player as he was 4 days earlier? Were his legs still up to the job? He answered all his doubters within a couple of minutes of coming on in the second half, seizing the opportunity to place the ball confidently wide of the post from 6 yards. Like Thierry Henry’s return to Arsenal at Leeds, it was one of those sporting moments you just have to cherish. A strong performance against a team dubbed ‘absolutely useless’ by Sam Skillcorn including at least 5 debut call-ups from the seconds led to a 4-1 win.
Not satisfied with just one game, Tom arranged to play Pembroke just 2 days later. Early on it was clear the team were suffering from a European hangover as ‘that big guy’ scored from a break. Parking the bus as we waited for Will Long to find his way to the pitch we managed to hold it to 2-0 (with Robin marking his last game with a show stopping challenge to give away with a penalty). The game descended into chaos second half with Pembroke representing all that is bad about premier league football and us representing all that is good about the Sunday League. Filip’s well-coordinated kick out during a barrel role led to a yellow card for their player after we surrounded the referee in outrage. We began to fight back but too little too late – the game finished 3-1.
Nick notes again that the pool team either won or lost against someone this week.
JCHC’s game this week was one of the most anticipated fixtures of the season with last year’s match leading to a #pepeonmeth twitter trend. A mix-up between Cam and Magdalen’s captain ate into Anna East’s 60-second cameo. It wasn’t long before Manson got himself involved in some controversy with a Magdalen player’s apology for a mistimed challenge being firmly rejected: ‘I don’t care if it was an accident, I’m going to foul you’. Like an enraged Cantona, Manson began to take control of the game by himself – even if it was at the expense of passing. Racing to a hat trick and his 30th goal for JCHC with Toby Swift only managing a meager 2, it was clear that Hugo was after just one thing – the success of the team. A mistake from Mooney, who looked out of sorts all game, cost Downes his clean sheet. Questions are now being asked as to whether Will will ever be able to make the step up from Varsity to JCHC.
With just one week until Torpids, JCBC have upped the number of outings in search of bumps glory. Things look particularly promising for W2 who were able to miraculously cure the injury that left Adam Robinson unable to row for M2 in order to sub in for W2. A borrowed cox from Univ then went for an early-morning swim before being asked to pull over as he was kicked out and replaced with a megaphone-wielding coach. Meanwhile M1 responded to a call of ‘if I gave you a million pounds for every stroke you could row balanced, how hard would you try to balance the boat?’ by leaving the boat firmly unbalanced. That’s right kids: Money isn’t everything.
The Sports round-up is back! This week’s bumper-edition features highlights stretching back as far as 1st week.
Cam Lester’s hockey team has stormed into division 2 following their promotion last season. Am I right? Without compromising on their exciting brand of hockey, they have picked up 7 points from 4 in their new division with Manson finally reaching a landmark 25 goals for JCHC. Sadly for the JCHC stalwart, the limelight has arguably been on the mercurial talent that is Toby ‘scores when he wants’ Swift with 6 goals in 2 highlighting his potential. A successful loan spell at Queens when they only brought 9 men led to Chapman gaining some much-needed match experience – like a young David Beckham at Preston North End, there is no telling how far he could go in the game. The new Nike Victory II ‘chevron’ jerseys appear to have brought solidity to a historically porous back-line – with legend Downes recording the first clean-sheet in living memory, although there was a blip when Tom De Sousa taped on the pads last time out.
The women’s hockey team haven’t actually played this term but both Kathy Page and Anna East have put in plucky performances in the men’s side as the team looks ahead to mixed cuppers.
A couple of hard-fought matches with Keble and New for the Rugby team this term have ultimately led to disappointment – though not without drama. Tim Bell was sent off for a very high tackle while LLew head-butted his own teammate. Hugo Markland has attended almost all of the training sessions that he has organized for his team as Jesus look to close the gap on the teams around them now that under-21s are returning to college squads.
The 1sts Football team have adapted to life in division 2 following last year’s promotion and now look likely to earn a solid mid-table finish. A brilliant game last week against top-of-the-league Pembroke was sadly affected by some ‘Phil Dowd’ refereeing decisions. In dominating large periods of the game, however, Tom Roberts’ side showed what this team is capable of. Having flirted with promotion earlier in the season, the team’s finalists are looking to go out on a high with their last 2 games against top and bottom of the league this week.
James Chapman’s 2nds Football team won promotion to the 2nd tier! Jesus went into their match against Hilda’s knowing that it was a promotion decider, although such is the hype surrounding this team that every game this season has received that label. There were doubts this game would even happen with the pitch resembling a Total Wipeout challenge at kick-off. Having gone 2-0 down in the 1st half, Groundsman Dave allowed us to play on into the 2nd half (despite the tempestuous storms) given the special circumstances. A comeback to rival Istanbul ’05 led to a 3-2 win in Leo Gebbie’s last game on home soil.
The Women’s Football team have played some matches, lost some matches, won some matches by forfeit and also battled to a draw. Parker-Humphries notes with fondness a time when she put in a cross for a goal in a textbook example of wingplay. With a growing squad, they are ones to watch next season.
Fresher Nick Cochrane thinks the pool team has won some matches but couldn’t tell me which ones.
Rosie’s Netball team benefited this week from employing Hugo Markland at centre – though he was almost sent home when he forgot his skort. Netball was also the only all-stars match to actually take place this term – a close game finishing with an all-star victory.
A big term for Owain and Verity’s Racketsports teams as they stormed to a 5-1 victory over traditional badminton powerhouse Wadham. Returning captain David Hirst won his first ever match while Russel ‘Mayweather Jr.’ Cook is unbeaten in college squash.
JCBC fought to the end in IWL but ultimately missed to an impressive Pembroke. With Manson and Stevner both returning to M1, this week will be vital to find the inches M1 needs as they go in search of blades in Torpids next week. The women are also aiming for a strong showing as they bid farewell to long-term coach James Marsden.
Yet again, we start with an apology. This time for a huge omission from last week’s sports roundup. The heroic women of Jesus College showed their dominance on the rugby field with victory in touch rugby Cuppers a couple of weeks ago. Maguire, Williams, King and Phillips paired with two girls from Teddy Hall and from then, victory was on the cards. With four blues among the team of 6, nothing could stop the Tesus (is that what we’re going for?) girls. The final was a tense affair against the only team Tesus had lost to in the group stage. The two evenly matched teams traded blows until the game went to the dreaded “golden try”, the equivalent of the schoolyard tradition “next goal wins”. Tesus managed to grab the all important try and send the crowd into raptures (or I’m sure they would have, if there was a crowd). More Cuppers glory for the Jesus girls, great stuff!
The boys’ rugby team also managed to finish their term in style with a comfortable 34-5 victory over Worcester, despite Jesus finishing the game with 14 men. That gave the Jesus boys their third win in as many games this season, sending them comfortably clear of relegation and securing division 1 rugby for next year. The boys will hope to carry on this good form to next term where an assault on the league title could be a possibility, and Cuppers awaits. The game was somewhat marred by a Worcester player having to be taken away in an ambulance after a blow to the head, so we wish him all the best.
Football had a topsy turvy week. The boys had three games, starting with the firsts taking on Magdalen on Tuesday. The result really could have gone either way as neither side could stamp their authority on the game, but it ended in a 4-2 defeat for Jesus. They were hoping for better against Trinity two days later in a must-win game. Turning up to discover that Trinity’s two blues players weren’t playing, hopes were high. Jesus started the game with great intensity, playing the ball around nicely and not giving Trinity a sniff. A lobbed effort from Mohamed was enough to secure victory for Jesus, although it could and perhaps should have been more. 1-0 still sends Jesus 3rd in the league at the half way stage, with an outside chance of promotion next term if Jesus can do the double over the team with 9 uni players, table-topping, Cuppers semi-finalists, unbeaten Pembroke (easy as that, right?).
The seconds football team had their Cuppers encounter on Wednesday. Univ 2nds proved to be tougher opposition than many had expected and Jesus were left looking very complacent in the first half, going into the break 4-0 down. A rousing team talk provoked Jesus to come out firing in the second half, scoring two quickfire goals and eventually bringing the game back to 5-3. A heroic save from a Skillcorn free kick by the Univ keeper denied Jesus a fourth, and from here Jesus seemed to switch off again, allowing Univ to score another four unanswered goals and leaving Chapman and his men wondering what might have been.
Netball wrapped up their term in the same way as it’s gone all the way through, with a comfortable victory. I didn’t bother to find out what the score was, but I’m sure it was a lot and that the girls were all very good. Congrats.
Easiest captaincy – Rosie Phillips, after the netball team’s comfortable dominance for the entire term
Most swearwords in one minute – Tom Roberts, for every single one of his football team talks this year
The “it’s not my problem anymore” Award – Aakash Khanijau, for his continuing “commitment” to the lacrosse team now he’s not captain
The “jack of all trades” Award – The Corpus groundsman, for stepping in when his team only had 8 men and were losing 6-0 to Jesus in football this year
The “if only I had that awareness, I’d be in the firsts” Award – Alex Proudfoot
The Organisation Award – Hugo Markland, for his reliable presence in the JCR on a Tuesday lunchtime looking for rugby players
The “you should see the other girl” Award – Anna Maguire, Rebecca Cavanagh and Kim Williams, for their consistently horrible bruises every Wednesday after playing rugby
Sorry for the lack of sports roundup last week.
The boys’ football teams have only played two games between them in the last two weeks. The firsts game was a bit of a non-event given that Corpus turned up with 9 players, two of whom had to leave for a tute at half time. The Corpus groundsman made an appearance in the second half and helped keep the result down to 7-1 to Jesus. The seconds had a dramatic Cuppers encounter with Balliol, a topsy-turvy affair with neither team really being able to assert their dominance in what was a high quality affair. Swift bagged himself a hat-trick on the way to a 4-3 Jesus victory, but the end of the game could have been very different. A penalty awarded to Jesus before a disallowed Balliol goal for offside left the men in red feeling aggrieved, but Jesus marched on to the next round – an 8th week encounter with Univ.
The girls also had a Cuppers game, a quarter final no less, against a team with a 100% league and cup record this year. Unfortunately, the Jesus Cuppers dream, like all good things, came to an end with a 9-1 defeat, although the girls should reflect on their great success to get to this stage. It has also been said that the Jesus girls’ aggression managed to intimidate their opposition, although with a couple of rugby blues in the Jesus team is that really any surprise?
Moving on from football, the hockey season was also wrapped up in the last couple of weeks. The girls finished their season earlier in term, so they were able to rest and prepare for their assault on Cuppers next term. Attempts to secure a mixed friendly were initially looking good, until Exeter, true to form, pulled out leaving Jesus safe in their longstanding knowledge that Exeter are in fact really scared of us. That left the boys (and East) to their final promotion/title/relegation showdown with Trinity. Due to the unique way college hockey is organized, all three of these outcomes were possible, and Jesus knew their big players had to perform. Not being one to disappoint, “Hugoals” Manson reclaimed his name with two goals. Some pundits have dubbed the East-Mooney central midfield partnership as “one that will go down in history” and it certainly did contribute to the 2-0 Jesus victory. Lester can only hope his team can live up to the enhanced expectations next time around.
The rugby team have been quietly going about their business (or as quietly as is possible for a team led by Markland) with victories against Teddy Hall and Exeter helping to secure the Jesus College Team of the Year title for the boys to cap off a great year. The Teddy Hall game finished 44-29 to Jesus, but 16 points worth of bad things done by the opposition meant the result will go down as 60-29. Exeter were seen off in equally comfortable fashion, 44-17 (or something like that, says the Twitter) the result. A final encounter next week with New or Worcester (I think) will hopefully end the season with victory for the Jesus boys.
Lacrosse managed to get a big turn out this week as well for the final game of the season, with early rumours suggesting that even Khanijau might turn out, although it is as yet unconfirmed whether this did happen.
Jesus obviously won again in netball, and it’s getting to a point where it’s almost cliché. 24-10 may have been the final score this week against New College. I’m not much of a netball expert, but I think the Blues scouts should be sniffing around the Jesus players in weeks to come.
A big week in 8th week sees boys’ football and rugby wrap up their terms with potentially season-defining games, the headliner of which is definitely the seconds footballers foray into the later stages of Cuppers on Wednesday. Look out for the awards next week as well!
The results are in and the JCR committee for next year are…
Vice-President/Treasurer: Tom Roberts
Women’s Welfare Officer: Kathy Page
Men’s Welfare Officer: Dan Bright
Access Rep Sam Skillcorn
Charities Representative: Jonathan Clingman
Environment and Ethics Representative: Eduin Boater-Latimer
Academic Affairs Representative: Hugo Markland
Secretary: Anna Turner-Major
Sports Representative: Chris Mansfield
Arts Representative: Amelia Brown
Bar and Food Representative: Tim Bell
Equal Opportunities Representative: Ima Bishop
IT Officer: Tom De Sousa
Social Secretary: Charley Samuelson
Entertainments Representative: Geo Merchant
OUSU Representative: David Cakebread
The winners of the charities ballot are Student Minds, Cancer Research and The Alzheimer’s Society.
Congratulations to all those elected!
This Friday an exciting event is being held in the bar as part of the celebrations to commemorate the 40 years that women have studied at Jesus. You can find out more by checking your emails or visiting the Facebook event.